Four years ago I was in a radiology suite and a doctor was telling me that I had several large masses in my left breast. He was 90% certain that they were cancerous. He knew that it had already spread into my axillary lymph nodes and was certain that it had also spread into other parts of my body. He sent me to the surgeon across the street. She did biopsies right then…about 20 of them. I was supposed to wait 5 days to get the results but the next day they called me to come into the office. I had breast cancer.
Today is a hard day for me.
My daughter didn't want to get up, and yelled at me. I yelled back.
There was no good music on the radio coming to work.
My phone was ringing when I got to my cube about an issue that I didn't want to have to deal with. It's not my job and I can't really tell you why it's on my desk.
My manager assumed that because I didn't answer her call on the first ring (I was on the phone with the above caller) that I was late.
Stupid manager at work asked stupid questions about busy work that he stupidly initiated and pissed me off in the process.
I had an appointment during lunch. I did not get to eat.
Another manager just usurped the filing cabinet that I had moved in for my use.
My daughter called to tell me she needed to go on another shopping trip for her 3 day trip to Florida (we have already spent $200 on supplies for this $150 field trip)
I have an afterwork appointment with a new doctor.
I survived for 4 years! I should be allowed to eat Twinkies and Soda Pop! Instead, I want to go cry.
2 comments:
With the news you heard 4 years ago, your whole world changed - what was important, so much is now trivial, by comparison. Yet the world, filled with triviality spins on, and on. Trying to make sense of what's important, in the midst of it - must be so hard.
You have survived these years. You are here to deal with stupid stuff. You are here. You are a hero right in the middle of the whirlwind, whether you know it or feel like it or not.
Have a party and enjoy the twinkies! And cry too, dang it, then top it off with a soda!
I feel for you. It makes it so hard when the people around you don't "get it,", even our situations are different. That day to day hassle just becomes too much at times. Find your happy place and make haste to it with the twinkies and the soda, bring a good friend too if you can. Where I go, no one can come but me. ;) (Bubble bath)
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