I guess it started last spring. I was upset at someone and refused an invitation with them. They shunned me for months, until it was no longer in their best interest to do it anymore. I attempt to keep the hurt of that from affecting all other transactions with them, but it does. We don't talk about it so the feelings just don't exist, right? Lately I wanted to caution them from doing the same thing with someone else, but we don't talk about that. I kept quiet, and I hope the other relationship is stronger than ours. The sad thing for me is that it started a cascade of feeling, self doubts, recriminations etc that have me feeling unloveable. It isn't the only situation that has added to this affect, but it really was the beginning of it, the catalyst. So this morning when I read Isaiah 49:15,16 "Will a mother forget the baby at her breast and have no compassion on the child she has borne? Though she may forget, I will not forget you. See, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands." my heart said "unloved, unloveable, alone"