My oldest son is getting married. He was planning too anyway, but the timing has been changed due to the upcoming arrival of his son. The wedding is making us all a bit crazy, and it's impossible for me to talk about it without an edge of disgust. I try not to talk about it. It's not that I don't want him to get married, it's that this timing is just wrong. It's wrong for him and his fiance' in that they were happy to wait until after the birth of the baby to have a more relaxed ceremony of the committment they have to each other. It's wrong for my family because 1. It's the 17th anniversary of my mother's death. 2. It's the day after my other son leaves to go back to Iraq from his 2 week break. If we could have it one week earlier he and his family could attend. 3. We already have committments for that day that can't be broken, so we will be scrambling to get there. And 4. It comes the day before I had a committment to my ministry at my church to work on the Easter Programming. It's wrong for Jenn's family because the only reason they are insisting on this is because they are concerned what people will think.
His soon to be mother-in-law has been calling me, and I just can't force myself to pick up the phone. She cares so little about showing a modicome of respect for the needs of anyone else that I'm having trouble with my attitude toward her. I just don't want one more thing thrown at me. I have no resourses to deal with it. I have just spent my entire yearly clothing budget on 2 dresses, I'm being forced to make a trip at a very bad time. I'm going to have to paste a smile on my face and pretend to be happy when I truly think the whole thing is a major waste of money and effort at a time that we all can ill afford it, and I have no say in any of it.
My son is the messanger of all of this and has taken on the role of buffer. He tries to make me happy, because he truly wants me to be happy he's getting married. It's not the fact, it's the method that I'm not enamored with. He tries to buffer the stress that I wish to pour back on his new family and to keep all of the stress off his pregnant fiance'. Letting loose on him is just not fair. He is more in the middle than anyone else and I don't think he's being given too much choice either.
I think I'd be happy to see him and Jenn say "screw it!" and get married this weekend away from everyone. But that's not what they want either. They want everyone there.
Weddings are wicked things! The only thing in world that is approachable is funerals. Why is it that we insist on these strange, stress filled traditions?
Monday, March 10, 2008
New doctor, new diagnosis...wouldn't you know it? This one is mostly benign though; I have Raynauds Syndrome, my feet and hands turn white and blue when I'm cold or nervous. It's always happened. I never knew it was a problem. Someday when I'm bored I should make a list of all the diagnosis'. Nah, It would be too depressing!
Monday, March 3, 2008
Prime time stupidity is on hearing that your child's school bus was in an accident this morning and 27 students were taken to the hospital, you call the school to inquire about your child...and afterward remember that you drove her to school this morning...Yep, a little prime time stupid here.