Tossing Flags

In another group within the Communications department, they have come up with a plan to engage each other in conversation.  Everyone in the department will be given three flags; a red one, a yellow one and a green one. 

 

So, suppose your nit-picky supervisor decides that they would like you to take on an onerous part of their job that is clearly not part of your job description…lets say they want you to pick apart the database that they hopelessly skewed and would like you to detangle it and make it useful.  You have other things to do and have no idea what they were thinking or what the point of the information is, so you throw a yellow flag at them.  Since they aren't able to read your mind and don't think they are asking too much of you to help them out this one time, they react and throw a red flag at you.  Now you have a red flag and a seething temper but since your supervisor is still expecting you to cover their derrière' you give up on the approaching deadline projects you are doing and attempt to unravel the incomprehensible database.  Once you come up with a chart that looks good, but no one is quite certain that the numbers are really showing that information, your supervison is happy and may give you a coveted green flag.  

 

I ask you, does this seem like a mature and efficient way of commuicating to you?

 

Let's replay the scene using our words, shall we? 

 

Your supervisor comes into your cube and asks you to work on the database that he just sent you.  You are annoyed and want to scream at him that you already have a full plate of projects approaching deadline, but instead you answer reasonably "I could, but if I do that then I won't get this PowerPoint out before the noon meeting and the letters won't be proofed in time to send them to the vendor for next weeks mailing."

He clucks around for a few minutes about prioritizing projects and then decides that you should continue the PowerPoint for the meeting, but he will take the letters and have them proofed for the vendor, the after the meeting you will have time for the database.  This seems fair enough, so you open the database and discover that it is put together in a non-sensical manner and you don't understand what information he's trying to organize by it.  After discussing goals with him for a few minutes you realize that you need to concatenate a couple of columns and use the text to columns tool on another, then you can run a pivot table and maybe come up with a chart that you won't be embarrased for anyone else to know you worked on. 

 

Tell me the truth, which senario would you rather have?

 

I have to wonder why someone who works in a communications department would think that this plan is a good idea.  Right now my biggest fear is that under some misguided turn of re-organization my team will be sent to that group.

 

Saturday

It's Saturday, and as I don't have a set plan for the first time in several months I decided to sleep in. I did, but I woke up at 7:15 to my barking dog and then went back to sleep. I finally made it out of bed at 11:00 and made some chocolate chip muffins. Lizzie left me with the task of getting her uniforms cleaned. But I think she told me that there were 5 shirts and 4 pants. I only found 4 shirts and 3 pants. Getting them cleaned is enough. It's going to cost me $30 for that. I am not pleased with this, but I heard a conversation while I was at the cleaners that lets me know of a cheaper cleaner for the future. I will try it out next time. So I am here, hanging out. I should get up and clean or something...but I like not having a plan for one day.

Karen and the 3-Day

One of my co-workers is walking the 3-Day. She is a working mother and is giving up her weekend with her beautiful chidren to make an impact. Bless her. The money that she is raising goes to Komen for the Cure. I have heard derogatory remarks in the recent past regarding the world being tied up in pink ribbons, but think about it…Do you know what a pink ribbon stands for? Most people do, and it's because of the amazing impact this organization has made in the fight against breast cancer. Not only are people aware of what a pink ribbon is, but many of the advances in the treatment of breast cancer have been funded in part by the efforts of this organization. You may look at it and say, "No, that was funded by the DOD." and yes, it was. But it was the grassroots efforts that was organized by Susan G. Komen that got Congress and the DOD to give the money for the research. But this organization does even more than that. They go directly to the woman and educate her on the importance of knowing her own body and finding cancer in it's earliest stages…when it can be cured! And if a woman doesn't have the money to get the testing done, Komen gives them vouchers to pay for the testing. If this wasn't enough, they also offer help and comfort to women like me who have had breast cancer. I can't tell you how many services I personally have used that had the tag "This program is sponsored by a grant from the Susan G. Komen Foundation." The money given to this organization is not wasted. It is making a difference. So, if you would like to help my co-worker, and support Komen for the Cure, please click on this link and donate. Don't forget to tell Karen how awesome she is…She really is.

Thanks.

United Way

Yesterday was a work favorite.  We had a United Way Volunteer Event.  We love them because Big Brown actually will pay us our regular wage (as long as we wear the ugly brown one shirts) to leave our cubes and do something unusual and fulfilling.  Yesterday we painted and stocked an apartment for Cobb County's Center for Family Resources. Overall we were impressed with the organization.  They seemed to be a compassionate group with the welfare of their constituents in mind.  Unfortunately, they underestimated the amount of work that we were willing and capable of doing.  We ran out of things to do about halfway through our alloted time there.  I think that next time they will have a bigger wish list for us.  But getting out of the office and out doing something worthwhile was great.

 

Fried Green Tomatoes and Various and Sundrie Other Science Projects

I didn't know I could make pickles. I'd tried before but from what I remember what I really made was a big, stinky, smelly and expensive mess.  This time it was easy, and the lids on the jars actually sealed.  I'm a bit proud of myself, but it will be another 3 weeks before I can tell if the pickles that I made are worth eating.  In the mean time I decided to experiment with fried green tomatoes.  I'd never tried them before, mostly because my attempt at fried okra failed so badly.  But the tomatoes were easy, and very good.  I also made etable greens recently.  If things keep going the way they have this summer, I may just become a decent soul food cook.  I should try to make bannana pudding or a peach cobbler.  That would just about seal the deal.

 

Deer-in-the-Headlights

I get an e-mail.  The notice pops up in the corner of any project that I'm working on letting me know that a message has come in and I click on it, almost automatically.  This one is from a friend and it's regarding a co-worker. "Please pray for X.  She just found out that she has breast cancer:"  And then once again in my memory, I'm back in the consultation room at the radiology suite. My mind recalls the  weight and the shock of the words that were spoken to me.  I remember walking out in a daze and wondering how I was supposed to tell anyone; wondering if I could command the words to cross my lips. In the now I begin praying for the woman and her family, even though I don't know her.  I pray that she will find the words and get the support that she needs.  I pray that the tumor is small and that it hasn't spread and that there will be a cure.  But to the side is the prayer for me, "O God, do not put me there again."  A deer is a deer.  Four years from now it will still be a deer, if it's found a way to avoid hunters and crossing the street at the wrong time.  I think it's the same with cancer patients.  We remain that as long as we avoid the alternative.

 

Jack

I spent yesterday with Jack. He is much calmer now than when I was with him last. He seems more able to self pacify than before. Now he's able to be cute and adoreable and engaged for a while and cries mostly when there is something wrong. I discovered that he definately prefers to be outside, and since yesterday was a nice day, we went out to swing. He also likes to hear the sound of a voice, which is good considering that he is his father's son. But it means that even now he enjoys being read to. It is nice to feel like I can spend time doing things with him that he enjoys even though he's only 2 months old.

15

The worst ten minutes of my life involes waiting on the phone to hear the test results for tumor markers after a visit with my Oncologist.  The worst that it's been since I was treated for Cancer was 30 on one visit. Thirty isn't bad, it's well within the limit of normal.  But I wonder what would happen if it ever becomes more than 38, which is when it isn't normal any more.  Today the number was 15.  Fifteen and I'm good, set to go until January, when I get to do the whole thing over again.

 

Heading into next year

I know it's a bit early for this, but yesterday I made my first doctor appointment for next year. It's with my Oncologist and it's good news because it means that he's so sure of my good health that he doesn't need to see me for 6 months.  But it does seem ominus to me that the first thing that I do for the New Year is schedule an appointment with an Oncologist. A vacation might have been nice, not that I can afford one.

 

On a random road turning around

The title of this post isn't about feeling a need to change my direction in life, though I think that it would be a good title for a post like that. It is a actually a direct quote from someone whom I was attempting to give directions to recently.  The exchange went something like this:

"Can you tell me where you are at?"

"I'm on some random road turning around."

"Well honey, that tells me absolutely nothing."

When I was a child my father was particularly fond of asking me to "hand me that dohickey over yonder."  I would love to be able to offer a million dollars to anyone who can tell me with certaintly what over where my father was referring to…but I don't have a million dollars…and last time I looked there aren't any biblical sages on the level of Joseph around here.  This post, if you can't figure it out is about sources of my frustration.  I came to an epiphany this weekend.  It isn't good.  My frustration is causing me a deep and abiding depression that I have been in counseling about and we haven't even begun to address it.  It started with my daughter-in-law dropping in with my grandson.  Now, I am thrilled to have my grandson at my house. He is truly one of the most awesome people in my life right now. He is sweet, and loving and as far from being gentle as any 3 year old boy, but he is kind.  The occasion of the visit is that they are on their way down to Florida.  They are moving there while my son is in Iraq.  It means that the house that they bought will be empty and unprotected for the next 9 months until my son comes home…and then he will be coming home to an empty house.  I am not ok with this, but I must maintain a good relationship with my soon to be ex-daughter-in-law if I have a hope of seeing my grandson.  Life is not fair.  I had to maintain a decent relationship with my ex because my children needed their father and now I have to maintain a decent relationship with this selfish waif to keep a relationship with her son.  Can someone please tell me why it is ok for other people to distroy relationships, but I must maintain them?  So while my grandson was there my brother decided it was a good time to have a family pick nick and invited my sister over.  Not a bad thing to do, but he didn't listen while Nina said that she had things to do in the afternoon, but would be back later that night.  So he was upset in the afternoon when Nina was getting ready to leave.  Then, my sister who wasn't on the one on the random road turning around decided this would be a good time to get lost on her way over to my house.  There are 2 turns in 27 miles between our homes.  What was worse, she couldn't even tell us where she was at.  So I was listening to music and cleaning the kitchen while my brother was trying to give her directions.  Then he did the thing that caused my epiphany.  He yelled "Could you turn off the F*****g radio!"  I yelled back at him this time, but it dawned on me what has been causing my deep depression, or at least part of it.  The thing is that my brother lives with me and was supposed to help with the rent. That hasn't happened much in more than a year and while it is a financial problem, I love my brother and don't want him to leave.  But for my goodness and my love, I don't even get respect.  I would never yell at him to turn off a radio, or TV.  Even when things are bothersome and expedient, I ask nicely.  My daughter does the same thing in ways.  She takes over all my radios and turns them to her channels without even asking me.  If I turn them back she gets mad at me and sulks or mocks my station.  It is a blatant lack of respect.  My work life has been pretty much the same.  I worked for 6 years with a tyrannt who not only didn't have any respect for anyone, she removed my ability to maintain any boundaries with anyone else in the department.  Recently I have moved to another group, and it is amazing that I now actually have the ability to set an expectation and not have it undermined by my supervisor.  The thing is that I work everyday and pay the rent.  I should be able to listen to the radio if I want to.  If my brother was having trouble hearing, he should have just gone to another room.  That's what I would have done.  It isn't ok to yell at me.  It isn't ok for my daughter to take over all of my radios and cd players.  She has her own and she should use that one. If she doesn't like what I'm listening too, go somewhere else.  I at least deserve a return of the respect that I show them.  So having figured this out, you'd think that I'd feel better.  But I don't.  I feel sad and frustrated.  I really don't think that even if I said something to everyone that shows this kind of disrespect they'd change.  Even my brother. I had told him that I didn't want her incontinent dog on my carpets. It's not that my carpets are great, but I just can't bear for them to be any worse.  And my sister when she got there, I asked that her dog stay outside.  But no, the dog came in and neither my brother or my sister cleaned up after it the whole time they were there.  Just disrespectful.  Do I sound like Rodney Dangerfield here?

 

In search of Breakfast

Today started out wrong.  From the very beginning I knew that the best shot would be to turn the alarm clocks off and recover my head.  It started with the first alarm clock.  It goes off at 6 am, which is 30 minutes earlier than I get up.  The alarm clock is on the phone that my sister gave me and I don't know how to make it stop. Then of course there was the offical "get your butt out of the bed" alarm, and then the "O my God!  You are not up yet!" alarm.  So after all alarms were done I dragged myself up and to the Laundry room to retrieve clean clothes.  But the door on the dryer was bumped open and the clothes were not dry.  I had to start them and let them dry while I showered.  After I was finally bathed and dressed, animals fed and ready to leave I looked in my purse for my keys.  They weren't there; the weren't in the dryer; they weren't anywhere!"  I spent a half hour tearing things apart looking for any one of my five sets of keys only to find them in the first place that I'd looked in my purse.  I followed landscaper trucks who could not manage to approach the speed limit all the way to work and was stopped at every traffic light on the way in.  I managed to make it in just short of officially late and had to walk in to an 8:30 meeting that they didn't even have the grace to serve breakfast for.  Who invites people to an 8:30 meeting and doesn't at least serve coffee?  So after the meeting we are all playing make-up to get the day started and I managed to miss breakfast in the cafeteria.  I've seen people walking around the floor with doughnuts, but I can't find them. 

 

Now I'm hungry and my lunch options are a little negligable this week.  Oh well, maybe I'll lose a pound or two.

 

 

 

Steve

The last conversation that I had with my brother-in-law was while we were looking through his telescope in my back yard. He was coming to grips with his mortality at the time, we were talking about Heaven. He pointed out to me that this is a certainty. Our faith is not a myth as the world would assert. It gives me comfort and hope now, knowing that he is there.

Goodbye

My brother in law died tonight. He had lung cancer, and we knew that he wasn't expected to survive it. But he had been doing better, and we thought we would have a few more months. But he got sick today and passed away this evening. My sister is doing well for now.

The treatment for lung cancer was horrendous. His death was relatively peaceful.