She was one of the first to talk to me in the support group. I was just newly diagnosed with breast cancer and she was quick to show me compassion and friendship. There is a heirocy among survivors. Stage 4's are the scariest and thus usually told that they need a seperate group to meet their needs and to keep other survivors comfotable. That practice makes stage 3's then, the sickest people in the room, so we become "those ladies". "They are really sick and they might not make it". The effect is subtle, but unmistakeable. Jan didn't buy into that mentality and welcomed me. She was a warm and caring friend. Despite the good prognosis that she enjoyed by being a stage 1, she passed away today after 15 years of surviving. The altruism that cancer dosen't get you, it's the collateral damage. I am shocked and broken once again. Good bye Jan Kaye. You are missed.
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