I had an appointment with Dr. B last night. She was her normal encouraging self, but I just wasn't feeling it. It has gotten so much harder to lose weight. I have to keep reminding myself that that isn't the goal. My goal when I started seeing her was to lower my A1c, ldl and triglycerides and to raise my hdl. I have done all that. I should be happy, right? Well, I think my goal was a little too superficial. Getting those numbers in line is great but what I was really hoping for, and I have not received is better health. My blood sugars still bounce around all over the place. My blood pressure is erratic. And I've had to raise every one of the medications that I was hoping to either lower or go off completely. I knew that weight loss isn't the cure that it is sold to be, I know it. So why am I so disappointed? I think it's because the whole medical industry right now is selling it. When I got home I watched "Biggest Loser" on TV. The way I was feeling it was good that I wasn't chowing down on a super sized burger and fries while I was watching it. In the middle of the episode they were talking about one of the contestants CPAP and Bob said "I'd like to get her completely off of it", and I thought "wow, he really doesn't get it." In December when I went to see Dr. L, he told me that obstructive sleep apnea isn't a disease caused by obesity, but it is greatly complicated by obesity. In other words, the CPAP is my friend for life. I wonder how many of those contestants who walk onto the ranch carrying a CPAP machine still need one when they leave? They never talk about that. And the doctors that I see who openly proclaim that weight loss is the cure for everything, I wonder how many patients they have that have lost a significant amount of weight and still need all the medicines. Why isn't that telling them that maybe it doesn't work that way?
Oh well, next time someone uses that line of reasoning on me I can at least honestly tell them that that my blood work is probably better than theirs.