Not normal, but not dangerous

I have been sprung. Me and my buddy, Hep-pump are officially separated. The stress test showed once again that my heart is far from normal, but there are no deadly blockages going on. This time they  were concerned about the inverted T-waves, but since that is far from a new finding they aren't getting upset by them. There was no evidence of the once Anterior Lateral Ischemia and the doctor seems to think that the appearance of it in the past spoke more about the still healing state of my chest from surgery than from any actual heart damage. They seem to think that being mildly hypokalemic along with some thickened blood not yet a clot is the probable cause of the symptoms that I was having. I don't think I've ever heard the term blood sludge before. Kind of has me scratching my head and wondering if this is a fancy way of saying "We really don't know." But I'll take this expensive mystery theater for what it is and be gladly on my way home. Someday my body is going to need a break and I'm going to go on a cruise rather than a night in the hospital. Aetna won't pay for it, but I'm sure that I will have a lot more fun.

Neverending

Sitting here this morning waiting for 10:00 to come around and feeling frustrated at all the ways my body continues to fail me. Sometimes it feels that I die by halves. It feels never-ending.

What's Happening

Yesterday I was at work when I suddenly started feeling very bad. I had chest pain and nausea and was sweating profusely, so I did what too many women do. I got my work to a good stopping point and called for help. My cube mate responded and got the company nurse and EMS up to my cube. Then I was rushed to the hospital by what was most likely the rudest EMS personnel I have ever come into contact with. She actually said several times that she didn't think there was anything wrong. When we got to the hospital, they didn't share her confidence. I spent the day yesterday getting tested poked and prodded. As a result my right arm is considerably more porous than it was yesterday morning. My blood first set of blood tests didn't show positive for a heart attack but the D Dimer suggested that I was had some blood clots. After a CT scan where I got bathed in contrast solution and was the final straw for my previously successful IV line, no clots were seen in my lungs. However my second set of cardiac enzymes suggested that I may have had a mild heart attack. The cardiologist wanted to keep me and do a stress test this morning. I agreed and waited in the ER until just after 10:30 pm. I was then moved to a part of the hospital called the EAS or Express Admissions Service where I was asked for information for about the 100th time and given a few pills. I was set up on a heparin drip and my hep-pump and I were moved into the 4th floor of the Hospital on Heartbreaker Hill. I'm in room 460 if any of you want to come see me. I was given a box lunch at 11:20 but told that I couldn't eat after mid-night. So I ate fast. The nurse last night was very sympathetic about me getting a CPAP machine and respiratory services came up at 1:15 am with one. This one really makes me appreciate the Resmed S8 Elite I have at home, but it was still great to have one. I fell to sleep with it until 2:40 when the med tech came in to draw labs. I fell back into a light fussy sleep until 4:15 when the nurses partner came in to get blood pressure. So this was my day and my night on Heartbreaker Hill with my hep-pump and my CPAP and my telemetry unit and my toilet hat, and oh, did I mention how much I hate those hats? Maybe later today the mystery will be solved and I will know what is going on. But for now I'm all wired up...literally.

Long Time, No Post

The video is to give you a clue as to what I've been doing. I got to go stay with Jack while both his parents were working. Jenn was in South Korea and Tim was in Georgia. Jack is almost 4 years old now and very active.

 

The kid ran like this for 2 days. I spent 2 days in the warm Alabama sun. All day play led to pictures like these.

I think I tuckered the kid out. But Tim had been complaining about Jack getting out of bed a million times a night. Let me tell you he went to bed at 7:30 and stayed there all night. I didn't hear a peep out of him.

So, I got home and wasn't feeling very well. I had three days of gastric problems and by Thursday I was dehydrated and beginning to go into Acidosis.  I went into the walk-in clinic that is associated with my doctor.  They did a bunch of tests and sent me to the 23 hour observation unit of the hospital to get fluids. Then told me that I should drink hydration drinks and stop taking Metformin when I'm not able to keep anything down.
Made sense to me when I was told that, and I wonder why I didn't think about it on my own.

The tests they did showed that I'm still anemic, so I'm wondering if I should go talk to my doctor about it. Maybe I will just call the NP and ask how long it takes for the anemia to subside.

The other changes are that Mollie bought a car, so I'm going to take a big hit and insure it for her while she's in school. A friend thinks I should make her pay for it, but she does need a car to get to work and back. And I don't pay her tuition. A little help isn't bad.

At work I'm organizing a 24 person move and a spring cleaning event where I will be asking chronic hoarders to destroy anything that is over 6 years old and isn't a contract. I wanted to word the announcement in the strong language that Compliance and Ethics have been using, but my supervisor says no. So, I doubt that some of our managers are going to respond.

That's what has been going on. Not much but the life of the chronically ill.

PS. Last weekend was the first time that Jack spontaneously told me that he loved me. I can't tell you what good that did for my heart. Clifton was about the same age, but he didn't speak until he was almost 36 months old. I love them all, passionately. But hearing from their own mouths, without being prompted by parents is special. Even typing it now makes me want to cry. I'm too emotional.

This made me cry in public.

Mollie 

So thankful for my parents...

 ·  · 4 hours ago via mobile · 

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Red Meat

I've been hearing it all week, a new study from the Harvard School of Public Health says that eating red meat increases your risk of death by 20%. Now, I'll admit that I might be wrong but I thought the risk of death for humans is 100%.

#needtowatchthesemantics

Divorce

I was standing in the foyer to the court room waiting to be called in. I was sad and nervous, but determined to get it behind me and be able to move on. My soon to be ex was standing beside me telling me that he was relieved that it was raining the night before because he couldn't stop crying and the rain disguised his tears. I wondered why he was telling me that. I had cried for three years as he unraveled our lives and destroyed our marriage. It didn't phase him, it didn't change any of his behavior. Why should he be crying now? This is what he chose. He'd had years to change this outcome, and he didn't. I was annoyed that he felt the need to tell me; annoyed that he thought I should care. Once called inside the court room, the judge asked me if I thought there was any hope to repair our marriage. I was hit with doubt, but I knew the truth. One person can't build a marriage, it's a partnership. I answered no and that is all it took to undo what had taken 22 years to make. Five minutes, that's all. We went down to the clerks office to sign the papers and it was done. Sadness was on me like a mountain. Eleven years have passed and this day still makes me sad.

Grand Rounds is Up!

Grand Rounds is up over at Dr. Rob's, or if you prefer a more poetic version. It is terrific this time, so check it out. And thank you Dr. Rob for choosing my post, Walking the Walk to be featured in this week's edition.

Walking the Walk

March 3, 2012 12:19 am

After an irritating bedtime low that took an hour and a half of drinking juice and choking down sugar, I have come to the conclusion that I'm going to have to start acting like a diabetic. It is frustrating in the least when I have worked so hard to go low carb and gluten free that I have to suck down three days of carbs to bring up one moderate low.

I need to think about why I went that low to begin with. Yesterday I ate a total of 1124 calories that included 22 grams of carbs and 69 grams of protein. Slightly high on my goal of staying under 20 grams of carbs a day and slightly low on my goal of eating at least 70 grams of protein. It was  also slightly off my goal of eating between 1200 and 1500 calories a day. Then I was staying up late, as can be seen on the meter watching the killer storms with just about everyone else in the eastern half of the United States. I should have known to eat a snack around 11:00, maybe a couple of boiled eggs. That would have given me the extra protein and calories I needed without adding to much to my carb levels. In other words, I need to start eating like a diabetic.

Plate Method Captain D's Style

Well, not exactly the Plate Method, but I got the basic idea, half the plate vegetables, quarter carbs, quarter lean meat, fish or poultry. There isn't any dairy or fruit, and I did not eat that yummy roll (they really are very good, too bad no one is going to eat this one.) But I did eat all of the salmon and quite a bit of the vegetables. And there is one more thing I need to do:

Rescue Kit

Yep, I'm going to have to start acting like a diabetic and carry a rescue kit of juice and candy with me. Sad to think that while I know that sugar is not my friend, from time to time I'm going to have to rely on it. Fun times ahead, I can already see.

#candyasmedicine shaking my head.