The Times, They Are A Changin...

Come gather 'round people
Wherever you roam
And admit that the waters
Around you have grown
And accept it that soon
You'll be drenched to the bone.
If your time to you
Is worth savin'
Then you better start swimmin'
Or you'll sink like a stone
For the times they are a-changin'.

Bob Dylan

Well, it has been a few months. It feels like it's been a lifetime, maybe more. This is a long tale of woe, so if you decide to read, you may want to go to the bathroom and get yourself a drink and a snack first. The times have changed...

December started off lovely. I actually had all of my children in the same room for the first time in years. Mollie came from Chicago with her boyfriend. I made him a hat that Mollie tells me is the only one that he wears now. But then no one was here for Christmas or New Year. I told myself that it didn't matter and that I actually preferred to be alone. I slept a lot. It helped. 

And oh yeah, I hate my job. I used to sit at the at the end of the day and watch the inter-office IM to see when my boss would leave for the day. Then I'd run out at the speed of summer lightening. So I took the firs week of the year off just to avoid coming in. I didn't have anywhere to go, so again I slept a lot. It helped. I really did actually need it. 

Depression was beginning to hit hard. I usually suffer the winter months with it. And then add in the rapid succession of oh crap diagnoses that I went through in the fall, and the fact that I spent the holidays alone. And oh yeah, I hate my job. But I pulled up my big girl panties and pasted a smile on my face. I tried to just muster through. 

When I returned to work I found out that my boss hated his job too, so much that he found another one. He was replaced by a 22 year old, stick thin bundle of cheerfulness and sunshine. She also just completed a time optimization organizational class. We have had many, many meeting where she drones on and on about how she does this or that. I often want to remind her that she was still wearing diapers when I started this job. But what would be the point. Life will eventually kick her calendars and status reports.  

Then on January 7 my landlord came down to tell me that a water leak was discovered on the property. The plumber came on January 9 to repair the pipe. But it had been raining all day and the plumber decided that a temporary fix would hold until he could get out to do a permanent fix on the pipe. The temporary fix broke an hour after he left and flooded the apartment that I'd been living in. I had to move out so that the apartment can be repaired. But this is the thing. My landlord runs the rest of the property as an Air BnB. They make a lot of money doing that and my apartment is worth many times the amount that I was paying in rent if it is used in the same way. So when it is renovated, I will not be able to move back in.  Essentially, I am homeless.

I have renters insurance, and they have placed me in an Extended Stay Hotel until the end of this month. After that I am on my own. Very little of my things were damaged in the flood. I lost some blankets and a coat that was thrown on the floor of the closet waiting to be washed. A book shelf was damaged, but there were no books on the bottom shelf. Beyond that and losing my apartment I guess I was lucky. But the tragedy of losing my home is not making me feel blessed.

Having lived for the past month in a hotel has been an experience. The first thing is that in my inexperience with this sort of thing, I booked the first week myself. Then I called the insurance company. My first thought was just to find myself a place to be. Apparently, I did a good job. The insurance company told me that the hotel I booked was the best choice that I could have made and they would take over the reservation. The money that I'd already paid would be returned to me. That alone took several weeks.  The hotel is in a business district, I booked it close to where I work. I thought that I could reduce the stress that I am under by eliminating my commute, The stress remained considerable. But the hotel guest are mainly business people who are being temporarily housed for whatever reason. From what I can tell there are no families living indefinitely in the place. The electricity has been a bit touchy. The third day that I was there half the building lost power. Unfortunately it was the half that I was staying in. The power stayed off for the entire night. When the crew came in the next morning they found that the night clerk flipped the breaker the night before. One of the guest staying there was so upset that he punched one of the elevator buttons and broke it. It hasn't been repaired. Then on Saturday, the whole area lost power when a transformer was damaged by some road construction crew. I went shopping during that time, but when I came home I found that the lights in both elevators are not working. The only light is a small emergency light that gives the ride the feeling of stepping into the twilight zone. I went to the laundry to do some clothes only to find that three of the four washers were not working. I'm going to try again tonight, but if the story of the elevators is any indication, I think it may just remain that way for the remainder of my stay. And Super Bowl Weekend, what a trip. The whole hotel was booked solid with people going to the game. I heard they were paying premium prices for the rooms. Most everyone was drunk and loud that night, and subdued when leaving in the morning. But overall, I feel safe in the area. I have a comfortable bed, a clean bathroom and a small kitchen. It hasn't been terrible. 

My insurance runs out at the end of this month. My friend, Beverly has invited me to stay at their house for a few months. I have accepted, but at 61 years old I am too damned old to couch surf. I have decided to stay with Beverly until I can arrange my retirement from UPS. That process takes about 2 months. I plan to talk to HR tomorrow to get it started. Then I am going to move in with my sister in Auburn, Washington. She has asked me to move in with her and my brother. She has a bedroom that she painted in my favorite color hoping that I would eventually move there. My first reaction was that it was too many changes, I couldn't do it. But now I am getting excited about the prospect of starting something new. I feel as if I have very little holding me here. But when I think of what I do have it seems as if I am tied by immense and life long bonds. Still, something new is calling me. 

Soon I will be both homeless and jobless. It's too scary to think about like that.