Daily Constitutional

I have been continuing on my efforts to get out and walk everyday. Most days it has been using up all my spoons and leaving me feeling as if I can do nothing else for the rest of the day than sit on the couch. I will persist with it, hoping that it will at sometime become easier with practice. 

Friday I walked into town using a route that looks shorter on maps, but has me walking up steep inclines. Town is a bit disappointing. Many of the shops are empty. With the looming recession, I'm sure that will continue to increase as the shops that are there cater to tourist coming in for game days. There are plenty of bars to cater to the college students. But even the chain restaurants are closing shop and getting out of Dodge. It would be far more to my liking if there were an antique store and a thrift store or two. But I suspect that the rent around Toomer's Corner is pricing them out of the market there. There was a book store that seems to have been opened by one of the founders of the town. But it is the kind of place that I will look at the book there and order it from Thriftbooks when I get home. 

I did manage to find churches from the major denominations in the center of town. I went to one of them on Sunday. Let me say this first: I cleaned up before I went. I showered, put on a nice dress, combed my hair and brushed my teeth. There is no way I could be mistaken for a homeless person or a bum. But other than the teens who were standing outside with signs greeting everyone as they walked in, no one spoke one word to me. Even during the "Turn around and greet those around you" portion of the service, everyone around me meticulously looked in another direction so they wouldn't have to say something to me. I will try the other churches, but one is a bit farther than I want to walk and the other is a Baptist church. I'm really not much of a Baptist. I was gobsmacked as I was walking home. I have never been to a church where not one person said a word to me before. Then an elderly gentleman pulled his car beside me as I was walking home and asked me if I was Pat. I told him no, and to have a nice day, That exchange left me with more of the incredulous feeling that I had. I seemed approachable enough for the gentleman to wonder if I was someone he knew, but not for someone in that church to simply say "hello".

On Monday I walked to the coffee shop that is down the road from me. It is a hang-out for the college kids in the area who want to seem bookish and not into the frat scene, as  they live among the frat houses. I listened to them trying to sound intelligent and thoughtful as they discussed the latest books until I could stand it no longer. I turned off my hearing aids and finished my tea and cinnamon bun and made my way home with my newly purchased Moleskin journal. I have been needing a place to keep lists that I find myself dependent on. 

On Tuesday I decided to go to a nearby park and work on a draft of a letter to Mollie. I heard the Grand Poo-bah of snake oil and fad diets declare that American women are under-babied. There seems to be a lot of pressure on young women to breed to excess these days. Never mind that it is coming from the "Can't feed em, don't breed em" crowd. I had promised myself that I would not discuss my children's reproductive choices, but I now feel that I needed to say something to her. I encouraged her to ignore anyone who wants to exert pressure on her and make her own decisions. I know she will, but it doesn't hurt to know that someone else agrees with you. I almost decided not to send the letter, but as I was stepping out of the park I found a small charm on the ground that looked a lot like her deceased dog. It seemed to me that George was sending me a sign that I should send the letter. When I got home, I wrote it out in a nice card and sent it to her. 

This morning I almost decided not to walk. It was supposed to be raining, but when I saw what a beautiful morning it was, it changed my mind, As I was walking out the door I decided to wear my new hat. It did get a lot of notice, and not all of it bad. I have always felt that I really wasn't a hat person, but this one is changing my mind about that. It fits well and I just kind of like it. When we were in Texas my son wanted to take his Knights of Columbus pin off his suit and I encouraged him not to. I told him that if anyone had a problem with it, it was their problem not his. He shouldn't change who he is to make them feel more comfortable. I feel the same about this hat. If someone has a problem with it, they are the one with a problem. I'm wearing my hat.

Walk it Off

I have started walking again. I want to place the blame for being homebound on laziness, but the truth is that anxiety plays a large part of it too. Somehow, my mind exaggerates the distance I need to walk to arrive anywhere and the safety of doing so. If I pay attention to the neighborhood chats, I'd think that packs of wild rabid dogs are roaming the streets. The truth is that I am only a few short blocks from town and the only rabid dogs are college kids on Saturday night. I made this amazing discovery just in time for it to get to be summer in the south.

And the Target here is smaller than my apartment. I don't want to shop at Target anyway. 

 

Keeping it Up

Since I moved in, I have tried to keep the place up. Not a daily scrub down, but top cleaned at least. But I arrived home from Texas exhausted and having been sick over the last few days, things have been a bit neglected. Today, it got on my nerves. It seems that I have become accustomed to living in a clean and tidy place. Having a thin layer of dust on the dressers and a growing pile of dirty laundry in the basket just isn't cutting it for me. I still don't have a ton of energy, but I did manage to push the button on the Roomba and sweep and mop the kitchen and bathroom. The laundry is going to have to wait for another day. 

The dress I bought for the wedding and the matching shoes arrived this afternoon. The shoes fit so well. I can always trust Sketchers to be true to size. But the dress is just a bit to large. It is on clearance, so I went ahead and ordered the next size down. Hopefully it will arrive with the amazing speed that the larger size did. I am going to wait closer to the wedding to decide which one to return. I'm almost afraid that the one I have is only too large because the last few days of illness have left me temporarily smaller. 

The dress looks exceptionally better on the model than I think the proper sized one will look on me, but I like it. The lace is very thick and heavy. When I saw it I had a memory flash of my grandmother wearing a similar dress in black lace. She had on white gloves and a pill box hat that matched the dress. I suspect that she made them both. The memory was so clear that I even remembered the smell of the perfume that she was wearing. I am going to wear my pearls with it and carry a small silver clutch that I bought in a thrift shop in Washington. I think that I will look styling for an old fat lady. 

Wildflowers

 I miss the flowers of the PNW. They are everywhere this time of year. It is still cold enough there to have to wear a coat, but the flowers bloom. 

There are no flowers here and it's a pity. I felt well enough this evening to walk the road that encircles the apartments. A few days ago when I was out I noticed honeysuckle vines among the trees. They were close to blooming and I hoped they would be out. But the maintenance people must have trimmed the vines back. All the buds were gone. So were the blooms on the blackberry thicket. It's a shame. I guess I should be happy the realty company wants to keep the place up. But the bees need the wildflowers to be healthy. Maybe they consider the bees a nuisance too. 

I did notice that there are no homeless camps in the hedges. In the PNW there would be. But there is less homelessness here. I wonder why. Maybe it's just that housing is more affordable here. I hope that is what it is. Otherwise, I have no guess as to why it would be.

Storm

I'm sitting in my comfy armchair watching a storm out my window. We are under a tornado watch that keeps getting extended. My back bedroom is a windowless room in the middle of this building, and I will probably end up sleeping in there tonight. 

Jerome, my next-door neighbor is on our shared porch talking loudly on his phone. Usually I do not mind. but tonight I would like to be out there watching the storm. It feels like eavesdropping to stand there while he is having a conversation, so I came inside. Honestly, I am more comfortable here. And I can write a blog post while I watch the storm. BTW, I'm sorry about the last post. I accidentally deleted it while trying to clear out a dozen or more drafts that never got published. Apparently, Blogger doesn't have a mechanism to retrieve it. I'm sorry to lose your comments. 

I woke up this morning not feeling very well. I have right flank pain and very dark urine, and I have almost no energy. I keep checking my blood pressure, but it is almost normal. It has been for a while, since I started drinking salt water when I wake up each morning. But I'm wondering if I'm not developing a kidney infection, I've been trying to drown it out with firewater and cranberry juice. If it gets any worse, or isn't better by the morning, I will go to an urgent care. Sad state our healthcare system is in. I feel like I'm better off at home with witchdoctor treatments than I am in the hands of licensed professionals.  

Speaking of sad states, I have music playing on my television. I can't stand to watch the news of the illegal war our country is in anymore. Our government tells us one thing, Iran says something else. In a different age I would believe our government. Now I almost believe Iran more. At least my son hasn't been called up yet. I hope that it stays that way. He was a few years ago to aid in one of the hostage releases in Joppa. 

They say the naked president is in ill health. I hope that it's true. But if it is, I'm sure that he is getting better healthcare than the rest of American citizens are: than I am. It would be glorious to wake up one morning to find out that he is gone. But I would probably feel the same anger that I felt when I heard that Pol Pot died in his sleep. Justice was not found. 

I hear that they are cancelling elections now. When do we start rioting in the streets?

UPDATE: The tornado watch has been upgraded to a flash flood warning. With the amount of rain and water running down the downspouts, I can believe that it might happen. Wouldn't that be something. I was flooded out of my apartment in Georgia. The house that I lived at in Washington flooded last fall. Surely it won't happen here. The picture was snapped just as a bolt of lightning lit the sky. That is why it looks like it might be morning rather than the deep of night.

Today's Project

Growing up, my father kept his guns in the utility closet. He was a soldier and a hunter. He always had guns in the closet. He taught us to consider any gun as loaded. So we were never to go into the closet. We were not to touch the closet, or even look at it. As a result, I grew up with an abnormal fear of the utility closet. 

The utility closet in my apartment is located in a very prominent place; in the dining area, just outside the kitchen. And it is somewhat of an eyesore. I bought some wall stickers trying to improve the look of it. It does not distract from the fact that it is the utility closet. And it isn't exactly the look I was looking for. It reminds me of something you might put up as a backdrop for a dessert table at a home bridal shower. I am trying to decide if I want to keep it for a while.

Speaking about tables. I think I may have found one. I found it on FB Marketplace. It is located a couple of miles from here. And it is solid wood for the price that I would have paid for a plastic folding table and a few chairs. Tim and I will be going to pick it up tomorrow afternoon. I hope this will work out. 

Clean Enough for an Irish Housewife

 I woke up this morning and cleaned my entire apartment, top to bottom. I wiped everything down, cleaned the windowsills and baseboards. I scrubbed the bathtub and toilet. I dusted, swept, vacuumed, and mopped. It all took me about an hour and a half to accomplish. I wasn't in any hurry.  And when I had finished, I heard my mother speaking in my head saying, "It's clean enough for an Irish housewife, I suppose." 

It wasn't a compliment. My mother used to say it after we'd all finished our chores. And what she meant by it was that it was clean, but you could still tell that someone actually lived in the house we had just cleaned. Then she'd go back through and by some trick I could never figure out, turn the space we'd just cleaned into a room that was good enough to be in a museum. Why she thought that a house inhabited by six children should ever look as if nobody lived there is well beyond me. 

I heard my aunts and grandmother use the same term, so I think it must have come from my great-grandmother, and who knows who before her. The cultural derision is still apparent, though no one in my family is ashamed of having Irish descent. It was just a term that was used.

I looked around after my imagined critique from my dear departed mother and decided that clean enough for an Irish housewife was plenty good enough for me today. The king isn't coming to tea, after all. I don't need my home to look as if nobody lives here to be comfortable in it. I enjoy clean. But clean enough is enough.

Time

 The first day of the year has quietly slipped into the second. I am awake, as always, in the wee hours of the morning. 

I had plans to start the new year off doing traditional things, like making the peas and greens etc. Instead, I spent the day writing letters to those who were kind enough to send me Christmas cards. I could have gotten cards out, and it would have been a good time to do it. But to be honest, I just didn't think about it until I started receiving cards. The letters were brief, just an acknowledgement of receiving the cards, and explanation that I had moved and an invitation to visit me anytime. I included the new address. I have six of them stamped and ready to go into the mail. 

Where the rest of the day went, I could not tell. As my grandmother would have said, I piddled. I got a few small things accomplished. I read a few pages of The Hobbit. Mostly I looked around and made plans. Or to be more accurate, I remade plans. I have been planning to get a full-sized bed for the main bedroom. But I have queen-sized sheets and blankets and comforters. And if couples come to stay, as I have invited six so far, having a queen-sized bed would be much more comfortable. The room is big enough to handle a queen. My main objection is that I can't manhandle a queen-sized mattress by myself. But the truth is that I doubt I'd be able to manhandle a full-sized one either. When I need to flip it around, I'd still need to have my son come over to help me do it.

After piddling my day away and remaking decisions that I thought I'd already settled, I looked at the can of peas and the can of greens and just couldn't bring myself to want to eat them. I took them out to the small sharing shelf near the mailboxes and left them there. Someone had left two televisions there. I brought one in to see if it worked, and it did. But it isn't a smart TV and will need an interface to hook up to wi-fi. I decided that televisions are the only thing that are still cheap enough and decided that I didn't want to mess with that one. I took it back.

When I got back inside, I took all of the leftover snacks and treats from the holidays out of the refrigerator and made myself a charcuterie meal. I may have no luck or money for the whole year, but I did not have to eat those peas and greens. I hope someone else will enjoy them for me.

And now it's the early morning hours of the second day of the year and I'm still piddling. But that's okay. 

It Was Christmas

Brrr...It's cold, even this far south. Twenty-six degrees Fahrenheit, and I choose this morning to take the empty cardboard boxes out to the dumpster. I am down to four now. And I realized that until I'm ready to buy a full-size bed frame and mattress and a dresser for the room they are in, there is no rush to unpack them. Even they are mostly unpacked. I am down to the minutiae. Most of it I am unsure why I even packed it. Most of it will be tossed after I have gone through it to make sure there isn't something left that I want to keep or need to keep. 

Christmas came and went, even though I was mostly unprepared for it until the last minute. But it was a nice Christmas this year. Tim and Jack came over on Christmas Eve for snacks and to open presents. I saved the presents that Mollie and Chris sent for Christmas morning. I thought that I would feel sad if I didn't have something to open then, but I really think I would have been fine opening them anytime. Christmas day was spent with Emily and her family. It was a nice time, but I was happy when I got back home. 

The apartment is coming together. It still feels a bit empty and stiff, It's not that cozy feeling that as a child I called "homey home" but have now embraced as the idea of hygge. Getting my things out has helped, but the apartment is a lot more space than I have had in eleven years. And in those years, I have pared down to practically nothing three times. 

 

There are still things that I am missing. The furniture for one of the bedrooms that I mentioned is most of it. But I am looking for a dining table on FB Marketplace and the local swap sites. I haven't started looking in the thrift shops yet. Tim tells me that the thrift shops aren't all that great here. I will take a look around If I can't find anything acceptable soon. But again, there really is no hurry. I'm hoping to be rewarded for my patience. Who knows, maybe the republicans will throw some money at us hoping to buy our votes in November. It could happen. Mostly, I am looking for chairs. The patio furniture helps with seating, but it just doesn't have the feel that I want to live with. I am torn between a mid-century modern reading chair and something I have come across called a lazy chair. Both are light weight and easy to move around as I desire. But the lazy chair can be taken apart and washed in the washer. That has an enormous appeal to me right now. I actually need three chairs, one for the living room and one for each of the bedrooms. So, I might just get one of each and decide which needs to go where. That is how I have been making my decisions. I place things around and rearrange them until it tells me it is where it needs to be. It's working better than anything else.

So now it's New Years Eve. I have no plans for tonight except to finish off the treats from Christmas and read The Hobbit. As unexciting as that sounds, it is actually a grand site better than last year. I was very sick on a train heading for Seattle. If anything has taught me that life changes on a dime, it's been this past year. I don't want to make any prediction about what the new year will hold. And I don't want to place any expectations on it either. So, I won't be making any resolutions to change my life. My life does that well enough on it's own. But I hope to find the furniture that I am looking for and maybe find a community in this town. And maybe I will finish the afghan that I started, 

I wish you the best in the New Year. 

I'm Home

The couch is coming on Thursday. The rest of the furniture still needs to be built. We were supposed to get everything out of storage today, but I am too sore and exhausted to get it. It doesn't really matter; I have plenty here to keep me busy for a while. It will possibly stay there until the weekend. But the kitchen and bathroom are sorted. And the tree is up, Or, at least what I have the bandwidth to do this year. 

I'm exhausted. I'm going to bed. Good night.