Bread - I Want To Bake It With You

I walked into the kitchen to grab a cup of tea,,,it is that time of year again. I am so very happy, practically giddy after the summer we've had. There on the counter, where I left it, sat my sourdough starter. It was filled to the top and screaming that it was up for it's assignment. That did not take nearly as long as I thought it would. I was expecting at least a week for it to wake up and be ready for service. So after putting the kettle on, I gathered everything I need to mix the first batch of dough. Bread is basically just flour, water, yeast and salt. But I add sugar and oil as emulsifiers. I like a crusty loaf, but the crust on a loaf of sourdough can be hard enough to make you bleed. I prefer to eat my bread without oral injury.

I measured a cup of starter and poured it into the bread bowl,   I was impressed with the bubbliness it had obtained in such a short amount of time. I've named the starter Charles this year, and it is as randy as a king for sure. I then added a cup and a half of water, a tablespoon of salt, two tablespoons each of oil and sugar and a little more than four cups of flour. I used white sugar and canola oil, but any sugar and oil will do. While I was kneading the flour in I thought about using bacon grease and maple syrup for my next batch. It might make an interesting loaf of bread. I kneaded the dough until enough flour was mixed in to make a soft dough that could be lifted from the sides of the bowl. 

I covered the dough with some cling wrap and put it aside for a series of stretch and pulls. I haven't used the stretch and pull method of kneading before. I learned about it watching Lisa from Farmhouse on Boone on YouTube. She has one of the homesteader vlogs that I watch. Her videos are beautiful and her voice-overs calming. It's kind of like watching a modern version of Ma from Little House on the Prairie.

Following her instructions I did three sets of stretches, thirty minutes apart. She advises three to four sets, until the dough forms a window-pane thinness when stretched. I hadn't expected it to work. Those kinds of things so rarely do for me. But to my surprise I achieved the window-pane on the third set of stretches. Surprise doesn't fully express it, more like shocked, oh my! That worked.

After achieving the window-pane effect I gently shaped the dough into a loaf and placed it into my pan. I covered it and left it to rise. Lisa says to allow the loaf to rise for two to four hours. It has been my experience with the recipe that I use that the dough needs six to eight hours. So I kept checking the progress. At four hours since he dough was created and two and a half hours after the end of the pull and stretches, the dough was rising nicely, but I could tell that I was right. It would require at least another two hours to rise completely. Sourdough baking is a game of patience. You can't hurry it. The starter tells you when it's ready, the dough does the same.

While I waited, I made myself a meal of a baked potato, bacon, cheese, chives and four fried eggs. My grandson calls it Hobbit Breakfast, but as far as I can tell there is no actual Tolkienesk reference to the meal at all. I imagine that a parent named it that in an attempt to get my grandson to eat it. I read through several blogs. I poked around the social decline network that anything Meta has devolved into and I attempted to pick up my sticks and begin knitting again. I should have been washing clothes. but yeah, washing clothes isn't my favorite activity.

I was right about the time it takes for the dough to rise. At eight hours the dough had risen, but not impressively. I'm might not  have called it doubled in size. But I decided that it was time to bake it anyway. I am unaware of what the magic spell is that Lisa incants to make her bread rise in two hours. Does she add some secret ingredient into her dough? Mine doesn't rise that fast. 

I heated my Dutch oven in the oven and made a slice across the top of the dough, sprinkled it with water and put it in the ovens to bake. 

The morning has been cool, with temperatures rising from the high 50's to the mid 60's. But the heat from the oven had my air conditioner working. It heated the apartment into the 70's reaching back into the hall where the thermostat resides. This apartment is nothing if it isn't efficient with heat.

After an hour in the ovens, I have a wonderful fresh loaf of bread. It rose very well. I might have scored it a little deeper to prevent that cracking of the crust, but I'm please with it.  Here is where sourdough is the real test of patience. I have to wait another twenty to thirty minutes for it to rest before cutting into it. Otherwise the middle may not be fully cooked and the middle will be gummy. But it smells amazing and I really want to break out the butter and jam right now.

This fall and winter I think I would like to expand my experience with sourdough. I have baked loaves of bread, made waffles and pancakes, but I think that I'd like to try a few more things. I am thinking about trying things like bagels and cinnamon rolls and a few different types of bread. Any suggestions? Know of any good cookbooks?

I really want to go cut into that bread!
 

Cool Down

The heat dome is gone. Temperatures remain on the warm side, but the mornings are crisp; afternoon temperatures don't hit the 90-degree mark that had me reeling; and the evenings cool down after the sun starts to set. It is so much more pleasant

I have begun walking again in the mornings. It is so much easier when the humidity level is not oppressive. I am finding that I actually can make it home without being drenched in dew. And with the cooler mornings, I can walk later, when the coffee shops are open. That makes a big difference in my motivation. I haven't actually stopped in yet, but just knowing I can if I chose spurns me on. I simply love autumn and I am happy to see it again. 

I was typing here about opening the blackout curtains, and why I wasn't putting the eucalyptus curtains back up when I had a change of heart. I put the blackout curtains up for the summer because the afternoon sun blasts heat through the living room. But the eucalyptus curtains are my favorite. I wasn't going to put them up because of the move and having to take them down again in a few months. It really doesn't take all that much effort to change the curtains and the eucalyptus ones make me happy, so why not? I can be happy, even if it is only for a few months. The eucalyptus curtains are hanging and the blackout curtains are packed away.

Since the weather is cooler, I can start using the oven again without fear of going bankrupt. So I got the sourdough starter out of the refrigerator and have it waking up on the counter. It will take it a few days of feeding and acclimation to stabilize before I can start using it. I am looking forward to baking bread again. It will be nice to have a fresh loaf.

My son is trying to get his starter going too. He bought a starter on Etsy that is supposed to be from a 900 year old strain of yeast. So far, he has made two attempts but has had to trash both due to pink mold. I'm not an expert on how it works, but I have my doubts about the strain of yeast being 900 years old. Even if there is a bowl of starter that has been growing continuously for that long, the yeast changes and takes on the characteristics of the environment that it is in. Or at least that is my theory. Like I said, I am no expert on the behavior of yeast. I'm not telling him that. Why burst his bubble? But sometimes he gets caught up on things like that. 

In general, things seem much better now that the heat is gone. I am still getting over a few health issues, some that have been severe. The phlebitis has all but resolved. I will still be required to move in the new year, but that is seeming doable, not desirable, but doable.

I 💖fall...

Finally Broken

The morning started hot and muggy, just like most mornings for the past 2 months. It stayed that way through noon, but then the rain started. The thunderstorm was impressive. 

The rain sent the tail-gaiters hanging around downtown rushing into local businesses, any shelter they could find. The Blackhawk flyover for the game was on stand-by to be cancelled. They've been practicing for days. But the skies cleared before the game. The flyover took place. The raptors were released and did their traditional swoop of the stadium. The rain cooled the air by 10 degrees. The game was more comfortable than the game-day morning.  

It will get warm again tomorrow morning, but not as warm as it has been. By Thursday the temperature will be down to the seasonal norm. I don't know if it's because it's game day or because it finally isn't so hot. But even here  the sense of doom has lightened just a bit. It is finally cooling off.

Updating

 And just like that, the reading lists are back. It's good to have that feature again. Hopefully this will be an end of the Blogger woes for a while. 

I have not done much over the last few days but baby my arm. The clinic told me that it would take 2-6 weeks for the phlebitis to clear, and I heard 2 weeks. By the end of the first week, I was more than ready to have this over with. Now, 2 weeks into it, my arm is much better. The swelling is gone. Mostly the pain is gone, though it is still tender to the touch. The veins are still hard and ropey, and I'm not sure that will ever change. I might just have to live with it. But as long as the pain and swelling, and minor danger is gone, I will call that a win.

Today has been hot, though not as humid as it has been for the past few months. It really does make a difference. It used to annoy me when I lived in Oklahoma and people would point out that the 100+ degree heat was okay because it was a dry heat. I would point out that a blow dryer was a dry heat. Now I'm having to admit that there is a difference. I am being told that we will begin to cool down after tomorrow and that by a week from Sunday the highs will only be in the 70's. There is hope that the heat dome might finally be moving off to sea. That will be so welcome.

I contacted the property managers at the apartments that I hope to live in soon. They are eager to have me tour and apply for it. This is so different that the response that I got last year when I wanted to move in here. I actually rented this place sight unseen, no pictures, not even a floor plan. Tim and I age going to see it on Tuesday. I will make appointments to see a couple of other places too, just to cover my bases. But just for the location alone, this is the one apartment that I hope to get. Keeping my fingers crossed. 

There is a big part of me that wonders why I am wasting the gas to go see the place, especially now that gas is so expensive. I moved in here sight unseen, how bad can it be, right? At least with this place I have a few pictures taken of corners and shower stalls. But a more logical part of me takes over and says that the picture of the kitchen was as unrevealing as it could possibly have been and still been identifiable as the kitchen. And they weren't forthcoming with me when I asked about square footage or the placement of the washer/dryer hook-ups. I do need to make sure my furniture will fit in this space. Not that my furniture is over-large or that I have an over abundance of it. 

Right now, I just kind of feel like the picture at the top, just trying to find a crack in the sidewalk that I can thrive in.

 

Can I Have Some Cheese With This Whine?

It is still hot; not just hot, but that muggy clingy kind of hot. Any relief that we have had from it has been both inadequate and very short lived. The talking head weather prognosticators on YouTube keep swearing that fall is coming. But in the same breath they will point out that it is not coming for the Tennessee Valley and Gulf Coast. The life of the heat dome that has covered us since the early part of June has been extended well beyond the October line in the sand and the limits of my patience. Even I am tired of hearing my whining about it, and the advice that if you can't say anything nice, say nothing at all plays in my head as I type these words. But how many cat pictures can I post of this blog?

We were supposed to have a meeting to discuss the developments that have taken place concerning the purchase of the apartments and the upcoming demolition. But the meeting was called off at the last minute. Supposedly it was to allow the speakers more time to prepare. That reason sounds a bit like "my dog ate the speakers homework" to me. With no meeting to attend, I decided it was a good time to get my laundry done. While I was in the laundry room I met a couple of my neighbors that I haven't met before. Adrian is a teacher at the middle school and Bill works on a construction crew. They told me that a lot of my neighbors are not very aware of the plans for our homes, and many of the ones that are aware don't believe that it will happen. Bill and Adrian only knew of the rumors that have been flying around Facebook regarding it. I told them of the postponed meeting and invited them to the new meeting giving them the time and place. Then Bill said maybe we will get those $5000 checks before everyone has to move. Without thinking I said I was expecting mine to show up about the same time the DOGE and tariff checks arrive. The look on Bills face told me how thoughtless my comment was. He really is expecting that check. When you lack what is necessary to deal with the reality of a situation, delusion offers a strange comfort. Am I that bitch who stomps on peoples fingers as they are clinging to the side of a cliff? I fear for my neighbors.

The next day we (the tenants of the apartments) received an email from the property management company reminding us that we were still bound by the lease agreement. If we chose to leave before our leases expire we would still be liable for the rent due and lose our deposits. Damn! They are all in it for themselves. Not only are they willing to make 200 or more people homeless, they don't want those people to leave until it suits their purposes. Their greed exceeds all of the needs of the people who live here.

It isn't good new for me. I have found the apartment that I want. The more I research it, the more convinced that I want to be living in that apartment. I will be royally pissed if I miss out on that apartment due to the greed of the owners of the apartments that I currently live in. I wonder if the new apartment leasing agent will allow me to put a deposit down on it this early. My lease doesn't expire for four months. One to two months are the expected time to hold apartments. I suppose I could ask if they'd be willing to hold an apartment that long. The worst is that they could say no and I am no better or worse off than I am now. 

In other things to whine about, Blogger is still not loading reading lists. It is an annoying bother, but it got me to cull my blogs I follow list. I used the manage feature to look at them all and deleted those who have not posted in more than two years. I deleted a whole lot of blogs and it made me sad. Back in the day we spent a lot of time on each other's blogs. 

If Blogger was the only app or website that was acting up, that would be enough. But I needed to pay my bills and a few of those apps were having problems. I like to have my bills paid by the first of the month. But here it is the middle of the month and I was still having problems getting into the app to pay on. I knew the due date was near so I called the service number to get help. They strongly wanted me to pay the bill online or go into a brick and mortar store to pay it. But after I explained to three different people that the app was down and the nearest store is in another state they finally agreed to allow me to pay it over the phone. I kept thinking, "geez, do you want the money or not?" Paying a bill should not be made that difficult. 

Last whine of the day, I promise. I am at the point of exhaustion with the phlebitis in my arm. Like a cold that lingers, it is better, but the phlebitis is not gone. I am tired of the schedule of medication, of having to elevate my arm, of the warm compresses; but mostly I'm tired of the pain. I just want this to be over. I promise myself every night that it will be better when I wake up, then I am disappointed when it isn't as better as I'd like it to be.

So that's it, all my whines while the reading list is down and not many people are around to be bothered by them. I try to distract myself by binge watching Survivor. But that makes me uneasy. I wonder if it isn't a statement of how low civilization has gone. 

Boring Stuff

Since Blogger isn't updating reading lists, I thought I'd take this opportunity to blog about the boring stuff. Don't you hate it when people start telling you about the dreams they had. I do. I have often wondered how therapists don't loose their minds listening to people drone on and on. 

Well, I had a  dream and it was so unremarkable that I didn't remember it until last night when I decided to make myself a grilled cheese sandwich. I picked up the bread out of my bread bowl and just the slimmest portion of the dream caught my attention. I dreamt that I was going to make my sister a grilled cheese sandwich because she really only eats bread and cheese. But when I opened the bag of bread, it had molded and I didn't have any bread to make her sandwich with. That is all of the dream that I remember. Nothing more. But it had me wondering all day why my brain chose to come up with that. If dreams are supposed to mean something psychologically, what the hell is that supposed to mean? Seriously, if I was a counselor and had to listen to this kind of drip all day...And why the hell did my brain suddenly bring the dream forward today after having buried it. It should have kept it buried. Just a though...or maybe a dream.

If you found this blog without your reading list, my apologies. Maybe I should have posted pictures of kittens.

9/11

It's September 11, one of those days that I can remember exactly what I did all day, even 25 years later. I remember what I read that morning. I remember what I was wearing.  I saw the CEO of a Fortune 50 company cry; we all cried. I remember the two teenaged boys standing on the bridge waving large American flags as I drove home that evening. The anger and despair brought us together.

This morning a different kind of despair has overtaken where I live. People here swing between being dejected and angry. I saw my neighbor sitting on his balcony. His head was bowed low. He's elderly, and not well. But he helps the woman living next door to him get her children down the stairs and into her car every morning. She has infant twins, a toddler and a four year old. His help is vital to her; he is her village.

In Washington, a town would deal with their "homeless problem" by tearing down the tents of the destitute, destroy all their belongings and tell them to move on the next town. Then the next town would do the same and chase them back where they came from. The same thing is being done here, but you don't have to be homeless to be the problem. The town doesn't want all those poor people hanging around. So tear down their homes and make them move on to the next town. What happens when the next town decides that it doesn't like the "eyesore" of poverty?  Do they tear down their homes too?  Washington didn't solve their homeless population by chasing the homeless around the Sound. It just made the homeless more poor, more desperate, less stable. That is what will happen here. 

We swing between despair and anger, but this is making us notice our neighbors. It is bringing us together. 

 

Thursday

Yesterday was productive. I did all the laundry. I deep cleaned my living room. I went through the drawers and closets and got them organized and ready for the move. There wasn't much to get rid of. I have only been here for 10 months. It took me forever to feel at home here. This place has always felt temporary to me, like a dorm room or an extended stay AirB&B one would settle into during a long business trip. I wonder if that wasn't a sense of foreboding. I've done my best to make it comfortable. Now I wonder if that isn't going to work against me when I move. I worry that my furniture won't fit the new space, that I won't be able to organize my things to work as well as they do here. 

I get obsessive when I am in transition. I will look into hotel rooms, plane or train tickets, routes, anything and everything I can control as soon as I know that I am travelling. When I am moving, I look into apartments, neighborhoods, even down to the availability of sidewalks. As if somehow my planning will allow me to control the unknown. 

I have been cyber-stalking the apartment complex that I hope to move into, Yesterday they listed another unit up for rent. That makes three and one has been listed for over a year. Normally that would be a red flag for me, but most of the apartments in that area that are listed have been for a long time. Google and AI say that it's a low crime area. I tell myself that even if it's the hood, the hood has a library, coffee shops, antique shops, grocery stores and churches in walking distance. I can't allow myself to be afraid of people. Most people aren't out to hurt me. Besides, as far as it goes in this town, the apartments that I'm living in are the hood. It's a nice hood, but as hood as it gets here. 

My decision has been made. I will be moving as soon as I can to north Alabama. I guess it's time to start packing.

Heatwave Continues

I am well over the heat. I find myself checking the weather app every morning hoping to see if a break in the heat will come soon. I do it with the same fervency that I search the news to find out if he is dead yet. It is 6:00 pm and it is still over 90 degrees and the humidity! I've been in cooler saunas. 

I talked with the property manager to try to find out some information that might inform my relocating decision. I was told that there isn't an active contract on the property. There was only a possibility for a sale. but the property needed to be rezoned before that could happen. Since the rezoning happened, there hasn't been an offer made on the property. As of now the property owner is requiring that the lease agreements be respected. New leases are being granted and lease extensions will go forward with an addendum saying that the lease will be void in the event of a sell with 60 days written notice. But since that conversation surveyors have been on the property. In the mean time several of my neighbors have found apartments elsewhere only to find out that they are being held to the terms of their existing leases. If they choose to leave early, they are still responsible for the rent that is due. I have found a few acceptable apartments in the area that I would like to live in. The one that I really would like has been listed for a year, and the others have been uninhabited for quite a while. I feel I can safely wait to make any decisions. I have started to look into moving companies and I am disgusted. They are all such scams and no matter which one I use it's going to be a whole lot of money I shouldn't have to spend. Frustrating. 

And to add to my growing lack of well-being and speaking of money that I shouldn't have to spend, I have developed phlebitis in my right arm. It is in a surface vein, as opposed to a deep one, which would be worse. But I've just blown through my savings and have been sent home with a lot of blood thinners which increases my fatigue factor by many times. So I'm sitting here with a bowl full of rainbow sherbet while I'm waiting for my dinner to cook. Nothing like having desert before dinner. 

Visitors

My son and his family came to visit me on Saturday to celebrate my birthday a week late. They brought presents and cake and took me to lunch. It was great getting time to visit with them all, especially my grandson. 

Jack seems as if he's come into his own now and seems to have found himself again. He is studying to become a paramedic. He says that it isn't what he wants to do as a lifelong career, it is just something that he is doing to make himself employable. But he talks about his classes and clinicals enthusiastically. and there is a lightness to him that has been missing for a long time. Likewise, Tim seems to be doing well. Married life becomes him. He is healthier than I have seen him in many years. He appears to be younger and less burdened than he has been. His laughter was genuine and not cut with the same cynicism that used to be there. It was good to seen them both thriving. Sadly, I do not know Emily and Nathan well enough to observe any differences, but I hope that Emily's mother is seeing the same difference in them. 

 We ended up eating at IHOP because there was something going on at the university and all the restaurants downtown were very crowded. Actually, IHOP was crowded in it's own right. But we were able to get a table without a wait and the food was very good. I decided to get chicken and waffles. When I remarked that the waffles were so much better than the ones I make, Jack told me that he thought my waffles were very good, He has just earned himself waffles on request. Still, the waffles at IHOP are very good. 

After lunch we came back to my apartment for gifts and cake. They bought me two really nice books full of knitting patterns that are well beyond my ability level. I am going to attempt a few of the simpler  patterns anyway. I am fairly sure that even the most basic ones from either book will be a challenge. I am flattered that they thought that my work is on an equal level to the patterns in the books. 

We had two small cakes; a carrot cake and a red velvet cake. Both were Emily's family's recipes. They are a family of bakers and carrot cake is their go to cake for every occasion. I was glad that they left the remainders with me. I finished them off for lunch today. I do love cake. 

I did not take any pictures of the celebration. Emily's family spend every occasion snapping pictures and it annoys Emily. She says that nobody sits in the moment and just enjoys it. So I feel constrained not to pull out my phone and snap away while we are together. But she is right. It is better to live the moment than to try to create a photo essay of what it should have been. I might snap a photo or two on holidays though, just to have a few for memories sake.

We discussed my upcoming move and I think I have convinced them that it might be worth it to make the trip up to see me every once in a while. I have decided to move to the small north Alabama town I had planned to move to before I came here. I have found an apartment there I think I can be happy with. It is in the historic district of the town and close to everything. The library is across the street. There are shops and restaurants and churches within a few blocks. The town square and the park where festivals are held is around the block. And I have family in the area. Tomorrow I will call my current leasing company to find out if they are open to me terminating my lease now, or if I will have to wait until February to move. I'll see how it goes.

Reality Setting In

 On Monday this sign showed up on the property. A sign like that is never good news. I took a picture of it and went inside to call the number. 

A meeting was held on Thursday, after only four days of notice to the tenants of the property. A developer, who has no connection to the property asked the city planning commission for permission to tear down the apartments in order to build more student housing. There is almost no rental housing in this city that is not designated as student housing. But without allowing input by any of the tenants who attended the meeting, they decided on a 7-2 basis to give the permission. Mind you, the developer does not at this time own the property. Apparently the owners and the management partners of the property were as blindsided as the tenants were. 

But here is the down low. The apartments are very old and not in the best condition. The rents are the lowest in the city that isn't low-income subsidized housing. The land under the apartments is likely worth more than the complex itself.  Our eviction is pending. 

By law they have to give us 60 days notice and pay our moving expenses. But we still have to find affordable housing in a city where that doesn't exist. 

A tenants union has organized. I have my doubts that it will be effective against the mindset that poverty is a criminal offense. Those planning commissioners are up for re-election on Tuesday. We will see how that goes. I do not hold out hope.

The reality is that I will most likely need to move sooner rather than later. My lease is until the end of January. That means that they either have to extend my lease at the end of November, or let me know that they won't be extending it. Even if they extend my lease, with a letter they can cancel it at any time as long as I am give 60 days to vacate. I have not been looking for housing in this town. There are a few towns on the other side of the state line that are reasonably priced. It is about 40 miles from here. I have the income and credit score that renting elsewhere shouldn't be a problem. Or I could go north to the town where I was originally attempting to relocate when I came here. There are several apartment that are well within my reach. But they are farther away from my children. 

Having so much recent experience with moving I feel confident that I can pack everything in my apartment and be out in two weeks. I don't think moving, other than having to pay the expense of it upfront to be re-imbursed should be that much of a problem. But I just don't want to do it

My plan is to stay here until I am told that I must move. Then I will move to be out on the day they tell me is the last day I can be here. 

Damn! I am tired of having to start over because of other peoples stupidity.

Dumbty Trumpty

Another morning I wake up and pray "Please God, just let him have died during the night." Another morning I turn on the television news only to find out that Dumbty Trumpty is still on the wall....

Well Damn!

Long Sleep and Laundry

I turned the air conditioner down. I needed it a little cooler so that I could sleep. And I did sleep. I slept for sixteen hours.  When I woke up it was in the very early hours of the morning and I was starving. 

I should have made eggs. I have a very lot of them. But I really wanted spaghetti and I had some hamburger meat thawed out. So I made it and ate a good bit of it. While I was eating I marveled at how indulgent I have become. If my children had ever asked for spaghetti for breakfast, they would have been given a lecture on how busy mornings are and handed a glass of carnation instant breakfast and a piece of peanut butter toast. 

When the sun came up I went outside to see the morning and found out that even though the temperatures were still warm, there was a nice breeze. It felt pretty decent. I almost decided to take a walk, but there was a growing mountain of laundry that was crying to be washed. I decided to be responsible and wash the clothes. There were five loads and that didn't include the bedding that I will do on Monday. The laundry room is less busy on Mondays. 

On one of my trips to the laundry room, I met Shequan and offered her one of the cartons of eggs. I was so happy that she  took it. She seemed happy to get it. That is 18 eggs that I'm not going to have to worry about eating or going bad. 

After all the clothes were washed folded and put away I was exhausted. The heat had gotten to me again. I took a cool shower and decided to take a nap. I was shocked when I slept for another six and a half hours. I just don't do well with heat, even with air conditioning. 

When I got up I discovered a couple of packages at my door. They had been there all afternoon. One of them was a birthday present. My middle child sent me an Echo Show. It took me a minute to get it set up but only because I forgot my Alexa password. It turned out that I didn't really need it. I only needed to put in the code that was sent to my email. 

The other package held some charging cords and a new planter for my ginger plants. I replanted them this evening. I'm hoping that I haven't killed them by moving them, but if I did, I will just get another ginger root and try again. I am going to have to get a mat to go under the plant for when I water it. 

The temperature heated up after the coolness of the morning and hasn't let up since. Even in the middle of the night the temperature in in the mid 80's and the humidity is high. I keep hearing that next week the jet stream will move and a polar vortex will reach the deep south. They are saying that it will be the beginning of fall. I am so ready for it. 

Show of Vanity

I have my groceries delivered these days. It seems like such a novel service now, and almost indulgent. Until the last few years the service hasn't been available widely. 

When I was a child, my grandmother would have her groceries delivered as a way to show off her affluence. The neighbors would see that Mrs. Foreman has her groceries delivered and wish they were as well off as she was. She would only have items delivered that she could be sure of the quality, like canned goods, bags of flour and rice and Wonder Bread. But then she'd tie a silk scarf over her curlers and put on her sunglasses to go into the next town over to get meat and produce where she could choose the quality of it for herself. She claimed she preferred the butcher or the green grocer there. We all knew that it was all vanity with her.

For me, it's not a matter of wanting to appear to be rich. Without a car, I have no other means of getting my groceries, especially in the kind of hot weather we have had this summer. When the weather turns cooler, I can walk into town and shop at the grocery stores there. And I am sure I will enjoy doing that. But I am awfully glad that I live in an area where I can have my groceries delivered. 

The grocery store made a mistake when it fulfilled my order. I usually order two, eighteen count cartons of eggs. They sell them in bundles, but I don't order the bundles as the bottom carton usually has broken eggs in it. Instead I chose the single cartons and order two. The store delivered two of the bundles. I already had a partial carton of them, so now I have seven dozen eggs. I like eggs. I use a lot of them, They are a cheap source of protein, and very versatile... but seven dozen eggs is an awful lot for one person. When Jerome and Shequan get home from work today, I will see if they might like some free eggs. Otherwise, I will be eating a lot of egg salad in the coming week. 

I also had my birthday cake delivered with the groceries. It is waiting in the refrigerator with the abundance of eggs. I will enjoy it on Saturday after I get home from whatever outing I decide to treat myself with. The birthday cake and day out is my show of vanity.

Latch Key Kids

It's still hot. There is not relief in sight. The latch key kids made their own relief:

They got off the bus and headed straight for the pool. They dropped their backpacks and kicked off their shoes before jumping, fully dressed into the pool. 

That was over an hour ago. They are still there. Nobody has bothered them. Who can blame them?

Haphazard Gardening

I ordered a few rosemary plants when I first moved in. It was the dead of winter and nobody had them. When I was finally able to get a couple of plants, they died right away. It was disappointing to say the least. In early June I noticed that there were some really healthy plants in the kitchen garden at the coffee shop. I snapped off a couple of sprigs one morning while I was there. Probably not the right thing to do, but it didn't hurt the plants and nobody seemed to care. Rosemary takes a long time to root, several weeks. And when it does you have to wait until there are secondary roots before you plant them. I was finally able to plant them a few days ago. I'm hoping they will thrive. You can root rosemary, it's just not easy. 

I bought some avocados back in February. I have always been told the ones you get from the grocery store won't root, but I proved that theory wrong. I tried with four pits and all of them have produced a tree that is thriving. That really surprised me. I'm just not sure what I'm going to do with four avocado trees in a two bedroom apartment. 

I bought a bunch of green onions from the grocery store, but the ones that came in my delivery were already starting to wilt. I put them in a jar of water and they perked up. They perked up so much that they rooted within a couple of days. I've been eating from those onions since April. 

I had so much luck with the onions that when I had some leftover basil from a clamshell that I bought for a recipe, I decided to see what would happen if I put it in a jar. That was just a few weeks ago. I have even used some of what I've been growing for a salad when I friend came to visit. And it's thriving. I'm sure that I will eat a few more meals from it.

I had some ginger root that had started to put out eyes. Since I'd already had some success with the onions and basil, I wondered what would happen if I put it in a pot. To my surprise it has started to grow. Since I planted it without knowing much about it, I have asked Alexa about it. Turns out that ginger is pretty easy to grow, but I'm not doing it right. I'm going to have to replant it in a different shape pot. If I give it a few months I might not  have to buy ginger anymore. 

I have an ivy plant that I snapped off of a tree outside of the fence around a neighboring frat house. It's doing well, but I won't be eating it. And I have some mint that I've grown from seeds that I use in tea. And I have the caladium and a philodendron.  

My apartment garden is taking off. I have a tendency to collect plants. 

Hell is Burning

Another post complaining about the heat. But there is not much else going on. My air conditioner got turned up another notch to try to conserve my income while keeping my apartment livable. I am really appreciating my decision to purchase and hang thermal blackout curtains for the windows. It only takes pushing them open a hair to immediately feel the difference that they make.

The forecast had originally had a cool off starting on Friday. That has now dissipated, and we are expecting temperatures near 100 degrees with high humidity through the end of the month. I wish I could promise that I won't be bitching about the heat until then. 

I have decided that I will spring for an Uber on my birthday and  take myself somewhere that I can get out of my apartment for a few hours. I thought about going to a movie, but I can't find one that I really want to see. The only event that I'm really interested in is the Storytellers Festival in Tuskegee. But it is an outdoor event.   Maybe I will take the shuttle into Atlanta and go to the Aquarium and the Coca Cola museum. That will be a really expensive date though. Maybe I should just find a place where I can paint some pottery or something. 
 

Themes for Today: Food and Sadness...

So I went to the arts center this afternoon to see Spitfire Grill. For amateur theater, it was very good. But I was told by someone in the audience that this performance was by the amateur amateur theater. The university has another group that are the true amateur theater for the city. I really don't understand that. It was a great performance.

Afterward I came home and was feeling sorry for myself. Mostly it was because I had no one to go to the theater with me and I ended up talking to the arrogant nincompoop who decided the performance was second rate. But also because I would have liked to go downtown and enjoyed a hamburger with someone. But it was too hot to walk downtown and I had no one to join me. So I went home and made myself a cheeseburger and tater-tots and was watching Survivor when I got this text from Mollie: 

It made me cry. But I didn't want to tell her that I was feeling sorry for myself, so I just told her I was eating a cheeseburger and tater-tots while watching Survivor. She had no answer for that. 

Apparently watching people starve on television makes me hungry. The women in the group kept talking about chocolate...And of course, a lot of the focus of the show is food, or the lack thereof. So I kept thinking about the box of brownies that I have in the cupboard. I really don't need to bake them because in a few days I'm going to order myself a birthday cake, and that made me sad because I really don't have anyone here to share a pan of brownies or a birthday cake with. And being sad and hearing people talk about the chocolate they want to be eating kept me thinking about the brownies... until I made them...

I put some chocolate chips, butterscotch chips and pecans in them. They are really good. And I'm still watching Survivor...

Heatwave

It's as hot as Hell! I'm sure that everyone is sick and tired of listening to everyone else complain about the heat. It is after all the middle of August and supposed to be hot. But we are all complaining anyway because it is as hot as Hell! We have been under a heat advisory for the better part of a week, and it keeps getting extended. For now, we will be under it until Monday night. But I have no real hope that it will end then. In fact, looking at the forecast, it appears that it is only beginning then and will get worse for the better part of next week when it will be hotter than Hell. 

Heat has always made me sick. It is the one trigger for my heart condition that I am absolutely certain of. I have had cardiac events on at least four occasions that were triggered by it. So I am sitting inside my apartment hiding from it. I have had adjust the temperature on my air conditioner in order to avoid bankruptcy, I had a plan back in February to save money while the electricity bills were small to pay for the larger summer ones. But best laid plans often are often a source of divine derision. It's not really that I'm sweltering under my air conditioning, But my home is warmer than I like it to be. I would really like to see this heatwave move on out and let us start moving into the cooler weather of fall. 

I do this every year. I tire of the heat of summer long before it leaves and in February I will be searching the trees for the first signs of redbuds that will herald the beginning of spring. 

My birthday is next week. I was hoping that the temperatures would be below 90 degrees so I would feel like getting out of the apartment to celebrate. Right now, I don't think that's going to happen. 

Last year at this time I was blogging, complaining about the heat. It was hot then, it's hotter now. A month later I went to a reunion hoping to wear a white shirt and a red sweater that I bought for the event. It was nearly 90 degrees that day. I didn't wear the outfit. I thought I could wear it on Christmas. Christmas day was nearly 80 degrees in north Georgia. I wore the sweater anyway. It's the only time I have worn it. I bought a black sweater at the same time that I bought the red one. I have never worn it. I'm hoping that I will find occasions to wear them both this fall and winter. Maybe it will be a bit cooler. I can only hope.

Puzzled Again

 My friend De came to visit last week. It turns out that she likes to work puzzles. She worked the bee puzzle in a day and a half. I kind of helped a little. I'm nowhere near as good as she is at working them. But I didn't want to let it go feeling like it was an ability that I had let go to the wayside. The owl puzzle is nowhere near as difficult as the bee puzzle, and it took me twice as long to work it as it took my friend to work the bee puzzle. But I did manage to get it done. It helped me to think that maybe I'm not silently falling into dementia after all.

Today was my son's 47th birthday. It is his first with his new wife and family. I hope that he enjoyed the day. I tried calling a couple of times, but only got his voicemail. I and his siblings sent birthday messages on the family chat that he responded to. And I checked my Amazon account to find out that the gift I sent did actually arrive. 

I was going to spend the evening at the local theater for a performance of The Spitfire Grille, but it was thunder storming and I just didn't feel like getting out in it all. They will have performances tomorrow and on Sunday and I will attend one of them. So, I stayed home. I dusted and vacuumed the carpets and sprayed an anti-allergy air freshener. Not that my place was dirty, but I feel like if I stay on top of it, maybe I won't suffer from allergies so much this fall. 

I have been binge watching Survivor because Mollie said that she and Chris have been watching it. I watched the last five seasons and to be very honest, I just don't get it. I can't for the life of my understand why people agree to be placed on an island, starved and forced to perform meaningless exhausting and humiliating tasks and psychologically bullied for a chance for any sum of money. And the reality of it is that they probably won't get the money. Only one of them walks away with the prize. I have dealt with emotional and psychological abuse. The harm will outlast the money if they get it. I always judged the ancient Greeks and Romans for their love of blood sports. I looked down on the people who frequent rodeos and bull fights. But it seems that I am no better than them. The entertainment of movies and television shows seem to come at a harsh price for those who earn their living making them. 

Restricted Substances

I got a text yesterday from my son. He asked me what my mailing address is. I looked at the text and thought, umm...no. Not only did he have an apartment in this complex a few years ago, he is on the lease for my apartment. There is no way that he doesn't know the address here. So, I gave him a call to ask what was up. It turns out that he did send the text. He had just forgotten what my apartment number was and was somewhere that he couldn't look it up. He will be 47 soon. The brain fog is hitting him early. 

My grandson's medication is extraordinarily expensive and while it isn't the kind of medication that you can just order online from Canada. But it has made him learn how to game the system for other medications that he needs.  Georgia is a shitshow medically, and won't allow a lot of medications to be sent there. They don't want anyone to be able to cut Big Pharma, or the insurance industry out of the picture. But it is legal for the medications to be sent to Alabama. Like I said, he is on my lease, so it isn't like we are doing anything untoward. 

There is a big part of this situation that makes me frustrated. Why on earth do we all have to jump through hoops and play games to get the medical help that we need?  I have friends who live in Canada who are thinking about moving here and I have asked them why. In all the years that I have been alive I never thought it would come to this. But they are young and building their family. You can't get pregnant here. It is dangerous. You can't get sick here. It doesn't even have to be a major illness to bankrupt you. A bout of strep throat will cost you hundreds of dollars before your insurance company will even begin to pay for it. And here we are, the country that exports medications all over the world, and we have to devise schemes to be able to afford the ones that we need to take. It's all a bunch of crap. And sadly, nothing will ever be done about it. 

The only upside of this situation that I can see is that my son will have to come regularly to pick up his meds. And that is a plus for me. But Damn it! This shouldn't be this way.

Cleaning Woes

My friend De is coming to visit again today. My home is mostly clean. It always is, but I scrubbed the bathroom and kitchen floor anyway. Generally, if someone walked into my home, I wouldn't be ashamed about how it's kept. It isn't hard with just me cleaning up after myself. This apartment is set up in a way that doesn't frustrate my efforts. 

I have a pile of laundry that needs to be done, but the laundry room has been out of order since the weekend. I should have taken care of it before then, but who knew. I hope they get it fixed soon. I really don't want to have to put my clothes in my wagon and walk them into one of the laundries near the university, but that may be what needs to be done. I wonder if I could get an Uber to take me. 

Another Month Down

The end of July is here and my mood has gotten better thinking that soon summer will be over and the cooler weather of autumn will be with us. But of course, my mind still has PNW expectations. I am sure to be disappointed as summer in the south drags her heels into the dog days in September and refuses to leave until well into October. 

Now that I am an old lady and summer vacation from school no longer applies to me, I like fall much better than summer. I'm already looking forward to the leaves changing colors and the fall festivals. I might even buy myself a pumpkin or two to decorate my area of the porch.

I braced myself for a bout of depression after the wedding that has not materialized. I'm not counting that out quite yet. My kids have been active on our family chat, sending pictures of dogs and gardens and even pictures from the wedding. That has done a lot to buoy my mood. 

I'm not really impressed with the wedding pictures so far, but they aren't the ones from the photographer. Mainly from people standing behind her taking phone photos of  the poses she set up. I'm sure her pictures will be better. To be honest, I was quite shocked that people were doing that. I thought that it was quite rude as she is paid to take the pictures. They were pretty bold about it, not even trying to disguise the fact that they were doing it.  Maybe wedding etiquette has changed and I didn't get the memo. Anyway, here is one of the pictures that I have worked on a bit with an editor.