If a Tree Falls in the Woods

You know that question about if a tree falls in the woods and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound? That is kind of what it is like to grow old and alone. I'm asked what do I do with my days. The answer is whatever I want to do. It doesn't matter. No one is around to care.

I woke up this morning to a message from Venmo telling me that my son had sent some money. It was very nice of him. But I don't really need money so much anymore. I'm doing okay here. What I need is a phone call, or a visit every now and then. 

I got up and did my morning routine, but even that doesn't really matter. If I don't shower, there is no one to notice that I stink. If I don't drink my water, there is no one who will know but me. If I don't make my bed or hang up my clothes, there is no one to object because the house is messy. If I don't do my quiet time, God won't be mad. I do it because I'm awake, I'm still here, I still matter. 

I looked at my watch, and I had time to get dressed and make it to noonday Eucharist at St. Dunstan's, so I went. They aren't celebrating Eucharist at the moment; it was just a prayer service. It was rather nice really. They don't make everyone break into groups and pray out loud like the services I try to avoid. This was corporate prayer led by a lay person. She was nice. She made a point of introducing herself to me after the service and invited me to lunch. I said no, though I don't really know why. Instead, I went to Publix and bought the sliced cheese that I left off my grocery delivery yesterday. They had some corn on the cob, and I bought two ears. I will have them for dinner on Friday with some potato salad and cole slaw. Why Friday? I don't know, but it's a plan of some sort.

I should have done my laundry this afternoon. The basket is overflowing. But there is no one around to notice but me. And I have clean clothes to wear, a clean towel to shower with. I could even change the bedding on both beds if I so desired. 

So, if I fell in the woods, would I make a sound?