May Your 20's be Roaring!

Happy New Year!

Happy New Decade!

No matter where your road takes you, may you enjoy the journey.

The Drive

Karen and I did finally make it out today, and not to the movies. I was being kind of a brat and went to my room to write of my disappointment rather than get dressed for the movies. I think that Karen really wanted to go. She wants to see Bombshell, but given the news climate we are living in, I don't know how much more I can stand.

Karen came into my room shortly before 2:00 and asked if I'd like to take a drive. It sounded good, though I would have still liked to go to Roslyn. Instead we went on our familiar path toward Enumclaw. The lighting was perfect. Mount Rainier was glorious today. So often it is covered by clouds, or the lighting almost blends the mountain into the sky. It is a rare day that we get the breath taking views of it that we got this afternoon.

Karen and I both want to move to Enumclaw, though neither of us has done much to find housing there. I have a feeling that it's going to be a bit more expensive than where we are. But there is something about that town that calls to both of us. When we go there, it feels like home.

Small Disappointments

It's a pretty day here, and warm for the time of year. My sister said, "Let's take a ride, go explore something." I said, "Yes, let me get dressed. How about if we go to Roslyn? We've talked about going there."  She said, "That's about an hour away. I have a coupon for the movie theater." Sure, why not?  It's a beautiful day, we should go sit inside a dark theater. Why not? These small disappointments are common here. She makes a small promise and then reneges on it. Not a big deal really, but the constancy of them is a bit soul sucking.  I could go to Roslyn on my own, but now I can't because this is a place she has claimed for us to visit together.  I should have said, "Let's walk to Zola's and have tea." That she would have gone for. Now that seems like such a better plan than spending a beautiful afternoon at the movies. 

Honeysuckle and Lavendar

I love honeysuckle, I always have . In the early spring after a long winter, I could open up my windows and smell it's heavenly fragrance. It gave me hope that it would be warm again. That with the coming of spring and summer the world would come alive again.

Honeysuckle doesn't grow naturally here. We have a small patch of it. If this had been the south, that thing would have already taken over the fence and the yard. But here we have to encourage it to grow. On the other hand, lavender doesn't grow easily in the south. It doesn't like the humid temperatures or the clay soil. People get it to grow in gardens, but they have to nurture it like a miracle child. But here, everyone has it in their gardens. It grows in the cracks of the sidewalks. It will take over a field and I've seen it growing wild on the side of the road with wild foxglove. I had never actually seen real foxglove before I moved here. It's prettier than the cross stitch motifs that I sewed decades ago.

I like lavender too and over the past several years I have begun wearing the fragrance a lot. I like Dr. Teals Lavender and Epsom Salts body wash. It's awesome stuff for aching joints and the lavender oil soothes eczema like nothing else. The smell is nice too. I pair it up with Yardley's English Lavender Soap. It makes me feel like I'm being extravagant.

A few weeks ago I was talking with my niece about Bath and Body Works. She asked me what my favorite fragrance was and I told her that it had been the Wild Honeysuckle, but they had stopped making it. I hadn't gone into one of the stores for many years; probably since Mollie was a teenager. So for Christmas, Nora got me a bottle of the Wild Honeysuckle body spray. I love it as much as I remember. She said that she cheated because she had a coupon to buy so many and get so many free. She was able to get the Lavender spray that she loves.

I had gone to Pier One with my sister, really to look for a mug for her stocking. I didn't find anything that I thought would work, but they had a buy one get one sale on the candles. I bought a lavender one for my niece and got a honeysuckle one for me. It seems we shop well for each other...and ourselves.

I'm still using Dr. Teals. It would be awesome if he'd come up with a honeysuckle fragrance. But the two go well together. I come out of the bath smelling like flowers. The cats don't like it much. They have quit jumping up on my bathrobe the minute I take it off and throw it on the bed. In fact, I'm burning the candle right now and none of them are in the room. I think they prefer the sandalwood incense that Karen is burning.

It's getting cold. They say we may have snow on Saturday. Saturday is a good day for snow. We can cook a stew and relax in the house.

Frosty

Not an actual picture of Frosty, but this cat looks like him.

I forgot to tell you about Frosty. Remember the abandoned cat that was left by the railroad tracks shortly before Thanksgiving.

Turns out that he was a male cat and a timid one at that. After several days he became hungry and cold enough that he came through the cat door and into our laundry room. We leave dry food in there for the cats and I found him in there eating one morning. As soon as he saw me he ran out the door and into the bushes.

Later that day, I saw someone poking around the fence outside our property. I asked if he was looking for a cat and he said yes. He said that he'd left his cat, Lucas with his girlfriend while he'd gone home to Bellingham for Thanksgiving. She told him that Lucas ran off while he was gone. I said that Lucas had been coming into our house to eat, but wouldn't let any of us near him, "Oh and by the way, Lucas brought his carrier and toys with him when he ran off. They are by the tracks. " But when we went to look for them, they were all gone. Easy enough for someone to take them or the City to clean them away. I'm sure he can verify that his girlfriend doesn't have them.

I let him in the yard where Lucas ran and jumped into his arms, happy to be found. I let him take the cat without giving him grief about it. But I hope that he has a talk with his girlfriend, and that all will end well for him and Lucas. I should have gotten his number in case Lucas ever decides to pack his carrier and run off again.

Year End

Another month has passed since I have written. Thanksgiving and Christmas passed with it. It's fine. Not much happened in my world if you don't count impeaching a corrupt President. I'm sure that you would have all loved being regaled with my opinions on that, yeah, that's unlikely. Though I must say, I did laugh more watching that shit show than I have in the entire year previously. It is ridiculous the length to which some have chosen to go to defend the indefensible. My mantra became, "Why protect him? He won't pay your bail".

With the holidays, we did a whole lot of cooking and partying as well as shopping. Too much of that, in fact. I am quite penniless right now and have a whole week before I can expect another deposit into my bank account. It's fine. I have more than I need to survive for a week. I feel fortunate in that regard.

This week alone, we celebrated Ken's birthday, Christmas eve and Christmas day, which included meals, appetizers and deserts for all. We also went to Everett to have a party with my sisters oldest friends, and had coffee and shopping with neighbors. Then there are all the parades and open houses etc.

What I missed was my own friends and traditions. I have failed this past six months to establish myself into a church home. So I had no Christmas eve service to go to. And I have no real friends either. I have no one to blame but myself. I haven't really tried all that hard. I have enjoyed doing my own thing and not being influenced by the whims of the crowd. I did need the time alone. Still, I felt a bit homesick because of the lack of them. Thankfully, my home church posted the Christmas eve service on Facebook and I was able to tearfully watch. It was good to have a bit of the familiar to hold on to.

While some celebrating is fine and dandy, by last evening I was well past my prime with it. Three parties in a week and we had merry makers coming over to give and collect gifts. I was done. They were my nieces friends, so I left Karen and Nora to entertain them while I slipped off into my room. Providing food, drink and entertainment aside, I was just done with being around others. I needed to acquiesce to my inner hermit. I thought that I'd indulge in social media or crafts, but it was not just my mind, but my body that needed to decompress. I was in bed before 9:00. That has been a rare occurrence since I went through puberty.

Cheese is still with us, though he is more decrepit for the passing of time. I had been allowing him to sleep on my bed, but he became of the opinion that he didn't need to move off  to relieve himself. I finally had to ban him to a place more adjacent to the litter box we'd set up for him. He doesn't use it. He regained the ability to take himself outside to do his business. I suppose it was being put out that woke him to the realization that his privations needed to be taken care of in an area that don't inconvenience the rest of the family. He has reassumed his positions on the couch in the living room.

Coming up, I have few plans for the new year. I need to get my social security on board. I become eligible for it next month. I have a calendar to help me be more mindful of what day it is. I hope to use the current chilly weather to inspire more knitting. And I have re-kindled my lost passion for counted cross stitch. The wedding won't take place until March of 2021, so I have no travel plans. I will just see where this coming year takes me...

Thanksgiving Week - Abandoned

I know; what an awful title. But this is about an awful thing. Yesterday my brother came home from work and said that there was a stray cat in the yard. I looked out, but I didn't see it. Later he came back and said that it had been abandoned by the railroad tracks by someone. The left it's carrier and toys but abandoned it out to starve and freeze.

When my sister came home, she said that she'd seen it on the roof of one of our sheds, but it ran off when she tried to get it to follow her into the house. We have come to the conclusion that this tiny house by the railroad tracks is a catchall of last resorts for those who have been abandoned. Indeed, Max and Shadow are here because the former tenants left them here when they moved on. Pippi was thrown in a dumpster when she was a kitten and brought here by Nora. And even Cheese, though this isn't his first home, came to be part of the menagerie because he'd been left in a parking lot and jumped into Nora's arms as she came out of work. He was so sick and flea infested that there was no questioned that he'd been cast aside.

If we manage to lure the poor thing inside, we will name it Elsa if its a girl or Frost if it's a boy, because it was left to freeze alone. My heart tells me that the universe is giving us one more to love because Cheese is soon to leave.

Nap time at the cat house

Snow Before Thanksgiving

Snoqualmie Pass

My father used to say that snow before Thanksgiving was a harbinger of a good new year to come. Living in the South, that almost never happened. It has been snowing in the passes for weeks here, but I am told that it is rare below 400 feet. Last night was one of those rare occasions. It had been predicted, and it came and went just as we were told it would. Around 2:30 the cats all moved into my bed. And instead of vying for position in front of the window, they were all trying to move under the covers. My throat was dry so I decided to make myself a cup of Sleepy Time tea. From the kitchen I could see flurries falling around the street light outside our fence. I watched it for a half hour or more before it stopped. After finishing my tea I had to fight my way back into my bed. The sleepy cats had claimed most of the real estate and weren't all to happy about having the warm covers around them disturbed. Cheese cried because of it, but was placated when he was allowed one of my pillows all to himself. I awoke this morning to find the cats and the snow gone as if it had all been a dream.

Thanksgiving Week - Monday

Goodness, I want to post, but my life is peaceful now and there is almost nothing to write about on a day to day basis. My big and exciting event today is that I will wash a weeks worth of clothing. A very fascinating topic indeed. Tomorrow I will clean some of the crevices and corners of the house that usually go undisturbed. Wednesday I will clean the rest and start to prep the meal. Then Thursday is the big day. Karen and I will spend the morning cooking. Really, what the house looks like isn't such a big deal since the only people who will be here are the same people who know what our house looks like anyway. But you know, we are GRITS and we must keep up appearances. Karen says that it will make everyone more comfortable regardless of the fact that they are very comfortable anyway.

Last year I wrote THIS  post explaining why I preferred to spend the holiday alone. I found it last night and it made me very sad. I was fine spending the day by myself, but the people coming over on Thursday give me a new perspective. I didn't want to celebrate the meal with others because the presumption was that everyone had to eat some of everything that is served. And my dietary restrictions made me feel like that was an overwhelming task. I still  have diabetes, hemochromatosis and gastroparesis. But if I pick and choose what I want to eat with this group it's fine. Almost everyone else will be too. So if my gut is acting up and I eat nothing but mashed potatoes and a parker roll no one will object. If my blood sugar is high and I eat nothing but a sliver of turkey and a few bites of cauliflower, that's fine too. If I'm feeling bold and eat until I'm sick, then shame on me, but no one will judge me. Everyone else will be choosing what in the meal appeals to them. It's just my job to make sure there is something there that everyone can enjoy.

In knitting news, I have been quite busy. I was into cabling for a week or two, and knitted a couple of headbands. But now I'm back to my recent fascination with color work. I am attempting my first true Fair Isle hat. I'm attempting to follow a graph instead of written instructions. And though the pattern is fairly simple, it has been a learning curve for me. I have to keep my amateurish attempt in perspective. The whole years that I was working, I dreamed of having the time to sit and learn to be truly good at what I do. Now I have to accept that my first attempts at techniques I haven't really tried before aren't going to be smooth and seamless. I will just have to be thankful that I finally have time to sit and learn the new things.

Happy Monday.

Thanksgiving Week

It is officially the week of Thanksgiving, which means for us, the beginning of the holidays. When I was a child there was a sort of unwritten taboo against starting the holidays even a minute before the dishes were cleaned and put a way from the Thanksgiving feast. That taboo has been effectively ignored by any and all for decades now. Stores start decorating for it even before summer has passed. But for me, the week of Thanksgiving is good enough.

My sister and I went to a store here called Haggens (I believe) that is really just a high end Safeway to purchase our feast. This was her idea, not mine. There is nothing about spending extra on groceries that makes me feel even the least bit festive. Fine shopping has always made her feel special. So I let her purchase all but a few of the groceries. I am making the cranberry relish and the parker rolls as well as a baked cauliflower for this meal, so I bought those. Still, the $0.69 a pound Jenny-O frozen turkey at Walmart is fine with me. I don't need a premium "fresh", as in never been frozen bird. I will hardly eat enough of it to make it worth the price. She says that she makes up for it by buying the tree from a place where she gets a great price. I guess I can see her point. We aren't going to eat the tree after all. However, she likes to decorate the tree with chocolate ornaments, and they are expensive. She found a few at Target that aren't really pretty. I went online and what I found was woeful. So this too, I will leave to her. I bought matching stockings for the three of us instead.

The three kittens have gone to the eastern side of the state to visit with their father for the holiday. They won't be joining us. In a way, it is a blessing. We will have my niece, her best friend and her best friends partner and my sister's ex joining us for the meal. Seven adults will be plenty to fill this small house with cheer. Writing these words, I come to the realization of just how indulgent my sisters feast is for her, she likes the cooking of it more than eating it. My sister, her daughter the best friend and the partner are all vegetarians. None of them will be eating the fresh, never frozen bird. And I can assure you that my brother, my ex-brother-in-law and I simply will not care one bit. AND...it is a 23 pound turkey, and I prefer ham to turkey. The bird is more for her pleasure of cooking it than it has anything to do with any of  us eating it. I will keep my feelings about it here on this blog and let her enjoy it. I will enjoy hijacking the television to watch the parade. I'm pretty sure my brother and ex-BIL will want to watch the Falcons football game. I may hijack my sister's TV and have Christmas movies playing on it.

Cheese is still with us. I think he's hanging out hoping to snag some of that Turkey.

Migraine Day

I made this picture some years ago to try to describe my migraine pattern. It was back in the day when I was still getting 2 or 3 of them a year. I know that isn't much. Some people have them almost everyday. Over the years, they have become less and less frequent. I don't think I've had one since last year, it may have been longer. It's hard to remember right now. My brain is sick.

It started very early this morning. I was still asleep when the aura started. In my dream, I thought I was looking through a stained glass window. Only it had flashing neon lights around it. By the time I realized that I was starting to have a migraine and needed to wake up the pain had already begun. I was too late to start medication and caffeine to thwart off the pain. I have been fighting it all day. I have some Indica with a high CBD content. That is to say that I have some marijuana, if you aren't familiar with the terms. It is actually remarkable in the amount of relief that it give me. My brain is still sick and I will be off for a few days, but I am able to deal with light and sound. My nausea isn't overwhelming me. I can cope with it. Then there is the other part that is difficult to describe to people. It's the feeling or rawness and brittleness, but that doesn't really describe it well. I am still feeling it quite a lot, but it doesn't have me curled up in bed trying to hold on.

I'm sorry, my brain is sick today. On a brighter note, this is what I have been working on. I've been able to do a bit on it today, but almost all of it was done yesterday. I've made socks before, but I am not proficient by any means. I'm going to have to get instructions on how to make the gusset and turn the heel. But I doubt that I could follow them today.

I hope your day is going well. I'll be back soon and maybe not under the influence of the "evil weed", who knew that it could work so well on migraines? Well, apparently William Osler did.  He said, "Cannabis Indica is probably the most satisfactory remedy." when talking about migraines in "The Principles and Practice of Medicine" published in 1892. The father of modern medicine recommended pot for migraines in 1892 and I have suffered through them my whole life. Remarkable, totally and utterly despicably deplorable to be made to suffer because of nonsensical laws.

I'm sorry, my brain is sick today. I will be better in a few days.

Chilly Day

The weather continues to be chilly, but not really cold. The other thing that it's not is typically rainy. There have been some remarkably rainy days, but not every day as I had been led to believe. So far, I am not suffering from sun deprivation. But then, I spent the past 20 years indoors in a cubical without access to a window. Sun deprivation for me, I think is quite a different story than sun deprivation for someone who has spent the same amount of time out of doors to begin with.

I went to the knitting group yesterday and had quite a good time. It is just good to be around people. And the two women who had so annoyed me on my first visit have not returned. Maybe they found me just as annoying. The knitting skills for most of the women who are there seems to be far above my own. They all seem to be working on intricate lace and color work objects that require them to work from charts. But when I talk with them, they seem to lack knowledge of some basic skills too. It confirms my conviction that knitting is mostly a splinter skill practice. One principle is not necessarily based upon the last.

I was working on a cabled hat. I'd knit most of it beforehand and ripped it out. The original pattern called for worsted yarn knitted on size 4 needles. It was a very tight knit and not really what I wanted or needed. I re-knit it starting with a size 7 needle for the brim and then changed to a size 9 for the body. But while I was talking at Sit and Knit I made a mistake in the cabling and didn't notice it until much too late to correct it. I decided that I'd had quite enough to the hat and just finished it off. All and all I don't think that it looks too bad. But I'm going to try it again with a different yarn.

Now I am working on a Christmas stocking for myself since mine is packed away in my storage shed in Georgia. I will be using scrap yarn from Millie's sweater and from the hat above. I have another whole skein of both if I need them, but I'm hoping that I won't.

Memories Calendar

Do you have those days that you just can't forget?  I do. I can tell you in agonizing detail what happened on the morning of April 12, 2004. I can describe the events of the week following with remarkable recall. I have many days like that. Days that the events that happened permanently marked itself on the calendar of my mind. But now I have so many of them that sometimes I will recognize the day and not be able to tell you without much thought what happened.  Today was one of those days. I woke up and at some point it struck me that it was November 3. I knew that something happened on this day. Something that I should remember. There was someone that I should reach out too. But the reason didn't really come first to mind.

I started going about my day and at some point I picked up my phone to check for messages. There was one from my best friend. "Stephanie has a kidney. We are on our way to the hospital. They will be operating within the hour." Wow. Just wow! Talk about a day well prayed for. My friend's daughter became ill with a virus four years ago and lost her kidneys to it. She has been enduring daily dialysis since then. Now she has a new start. While we tamper our enthusiasm due to the fact that someone lost a loved one, we are forever grateful for their generosity in that loss. Her life will become more normal again. This is a great day. One that should be remembered. I'm sure that Stephanie and De will remember it always.

But there was something that I was supposed to remember. I felt the overwhelming tug that I was neglecting something. But I went on about my day. Not much happened. I kept a watch on my phone and on Facebook for updates from De. The operation went well. The kidney worked immediately. Everything is looking good. Stephanie made it through recovery and was taken back to her room by dinner time.

Then as I was watching Facebook a small note from another friend caught my eye. And the memory came crashing back. It was November 3, 2007. We were at Mil-Ball, the holiday dance for the high school ROTC class my daughter was in. I was there and busy making sure that the tables were kept in good supply of pizza and hot wings. One of the kids who had graduated the spring before dropped by to say hello to his friends. He didn't stay long, just enough to see everyone and say goodbye. Before he left he came to the refreshment table where I was at and gave me a hug. Then said he had things to take care of and "I'll see you on the other side". I didn't think anything of it. It was how he always said goodbye. He went home where he was alone and took his own life. His grandmother found him when she was coming home from work. His brother was still at the dance. That is what I was supposed to remember. I finally did reach out to my friend to let her know that I still care. I wish I'd remembered early enough to reach out before she reminded me. I don't want her to think that I didn't care.

Debra donated Kenneth's organs. I suppose there was a family who got the call that De and Stephanie got this morning. Someone whose life has been enhanced by Kenneth's death. I'd like to think so.

I had my phone in my hand and was about to give Debra a call when my phone started ringing. It was Mollie, and she was crying. At first I was confused. She and I have shared a tear or two over the years on this day. But not the way she was crying. Her news today is happy and not sad. Her tears were those of joy and not sorrow.  Chris had proposed and Mollie had accepted. They are getting married. I am so very happy. There isn't much more to tell right now. It had just happened when they called me. I want to get on the phone and on Facebook and all over social media and celebrate the hell out of this. But I do not know who has been told, so I have to wait a few days. My girl, my precious daughter  is getting married to a very nice man, whom I like very much.

Oh my gosh. I need to go on a diet so I will look good in her pictures....

Today is a day when memorable things have happened. This year the memories are of joy.

The End of Saving Daylight

Daylight Savings Time has ended in the US. I am one of many people who are glad to see it end. I don't generally like the time changes. It seems a bother to disrupt a whole nation on an unproven theory there is an advantageous energy consumption benefit. In a society that is far from it's dawn to dusk workday routine, it becomes a matter of when you turn the lights on. You can turn them on in the morning before you go to work, or you can turn them on in the evening. It doesn't seem to make that much of a difference.

Even though I'm not a fan of the time swap scheme, I was looking forward to this one. Since I have moved here five months ago, I have been unable to regulate my inner clock to wake at a decent hour. After spending decades waking in the pre-dawn hours to drive an hour to work, my inner clock now seems to want to stay up all night and wake in the afternoon. This morning, by whatever magic that occurs to change the clocks, I was up at 7:00 am. I can't even begin to explain it. I only hope that it holds.

I have learned that time change began in the US in 1966. I didn't know that. I was 9 years old and I must really have not been paying attention. I certainly don't remember not having the changes. Thirty states have voted to leave the system. Washington is one of them. But I understand that to make it applicable, congress has to okay it. They are a bit busy right now running the clown show out of town. The thought that this may be the last time I have to worry about changing the clocks unnaturally is intriguing. Still, I  never really thought that I'd be able to walk into a retail establishment and buy pot either. Things change. Sometimes for better.

Happy Halloween Week

Sorry to get back to you all so late again. Cheese is still puttering along with us, though we see him getting weaker almost by the day. He remains a strong willed little thing. He has taken to staying in my sisters room most of the time now. Every now and then he will get up and go into the kitchen for food and water, and he still goes outside to take care of business, but beyond that he isn't really doing much.

The three little kittens came over this weekend to go to the community Trunk-or-Treat with us. They were more than a bit wild this weekend, being all hyped up on celebrations, parties and sugar. Still they were respectful of Cheese.  We had discussed what to tell them about him before they came over. Ken really didn't want us to say anything to them. Soon it became like the elephant in the room and we gently explained that Cheese had lived a long and comfortable life, but his days are becoming few now. The middle child asked if he was going to pass over the rainbow bridge. I'm not sure how that euphemism came into being, and I'm very reticent about the theology involved in it. However, it seemed like a kind and gentle way to get the message across. So we all agreed that is how we are explaining it. They were a bit distressed by all this.  We pointed out that we still have Cheese with us and should be happy for the time he has left with us. Their distress lasted long enough to make their way to the celebrations at the park. They spent the night with us and Cheese did manage to make it to the couches they were sleeping on and curl up with the youngest child.

While we were out my son sent a picture of Jack in his costume. My daughter-in-law has outdone herself this year. She is very good with costumes. At first I thought that he was dressing up as Jack and the Beanstalk. When he Face timed with me later, I learned that he's actually Spout from the Green Giant advertisements. When I asked him why he'd chosen that costume, he told me he was helping make dinner when his mother asked him and it was the first thing he saw. I thought to myself that it was a very good thing he wasn't helping load toilet paper into the pantry when the subject came up. This is typical of how this child's mind works. He's very much in the moment and doesn't spend a lot of time thinking on the things he doesn't have.  Once I asked him what he wanted for Christmas. He thought for a minute and said he wanted a Christmas tree. His mind wasn't on getting a present, though he does like them. He was just in the moment of celebrating the holiday and wanted to put his tree up.

The weather is turning colder and Karen and I  decided that we needed to upgrade our shoes before the bad weather came. We went to the outlets in Northbend. She had been speaking about making a trip there as if it were a fabulous place. In reality, it is just your usual outlet mall. I am a bit jaded by having had one so close when I lived in Georgia.  I was lucky to find two pairs  of shoes that I really liked at a 75% off sale. Karen also found the shoes she needed, and they are very similar to the ones that I chose. I am astounded at how similar our tastes are. I never noticed it when we were growing up. It's funny, but we will be getting dressed in our own bed rooms and come out both dressed in the same color flannel shirts. Our rain coats are similar, our shoes are similar, even the cut of our jeans are the same.  At first one of us would go change, now we don't bother. If we were the same size we could borrow each others clothes like we used to and be perfectly happy with it.

Unfortunately, we aren't the only one's that are noticing the change in the weather. We had the kittens paint some pumpkins, and put them out on the porch. When I was going out to check on some things this evening the smallest pumpkin was half eaten in the yard. I suppose one or more of the squirrels must have gotten it. I have never seen a squirrel come on the porch before. Mostly they are afraid of the cats. Karen believes it is a sign that the winter will be a hard one. I have to say that I agree.  It makes me glad that I upgraded my shoes. I wore the ones I had for a couple of years and they are worse for it. The new ones will definitely keep my feet dryer and warmer.

Ken spent the weekend getting the yard ready for colder weather. Our Strawberries are covered and the potted plants have been brought into the mud room. He pruned some of the bushes and trees. Karen and I will spend next weekend giving the house a good cleaning and shampooing the carpets. It will make it nicer for our holiday meal guests and hopefully keep us from getting sick while everything is closed up for winter.

This post is all over the place. But I did want to get something out before more needs to be added. Hope you are having some spooky fun this week.

P.S. This post has been heavily edited. After re-reading it I realized that I should have read it before I posted. My apologies to those who were nice enough to read my rambling before I came to my senses.

A Sweater For Cheese

Our oldest cat is coming to the end of his days. He spends most of them curled up sleeping. It isn't all that alarming as that is exactly what the other cats do. But he is beginning to have trouble using his hind legs. We know that he probably won't be with us for Christmas. I will be surprised to see him still here at Thanksgiving. We are hoping that he will die peacefully here at home. He hates to be picked up and carried. Taking him into a vet will be traumatic for him. In Woodstock, I know a vet that will come out to your home to provide that sort of care. I'm told there is no one here that will do it. Such a shame.

The weather has turned cooler with the rain that we have been having. Cheese shivers with the cold. When we see him uncovered, we cover him up. But it makes it harder for him to get up when he needs. He is a proud kitty. He still does his business outside and wants no help. He also does not want food and water brought to him. He prefers to have it in the spot where it always has been. I finished my sisters mitts yesterday and started on a sweater for cheese. Hopefully he will agree to wear it. Karen told me that he had a pumpkin costume when he was young that he cried when it was taken off of him. I decided that his comfort sweater should be a pumpkin sweater. I didn't do much besides work on it all day. I should think that another day and it will be done. But there is part of me that fears that if I finish it, he will die. It's an irrational thought, I know. But my mind has taken hold of it and it's seed is planted there. I'll finish the sweater anyway. I hate to see the poor fellow shivering.

I didn't do more than work on the sweater yesterday. I don't have much else to say. I fear that I have become a old cat woman, complete with a silver braid running down my back. I'll have to work on not letting this become a hoarder house.

Sleepy Sunday

It's quiet today. Even the animals seem to be observing a protestants Sabbath rest. The atmospheric river persists and we are on our fourth day with periods of drenching rain. It seems to be adding to the contemplative feeling of the house.

I am making a pair of fingerless mitts for my sister. I started off with reading Tin Can Knit's Maize pattern. It's on Ravelry. But quickly decided that I wanted a different cuff and a different finger cover. So I preceded onward and knit my own kind of thing. Fortunately, my sister tried it on and it fits her hand exactly and works the way she wants it to. Now I'm trying to knit the second mitt from memory of how I knit the first. There are kinks in my madness' method. I bought the yarn way back on a day when Walmart was wanting to redo the craft section of their store. The had Caron yarn marked at $0.35 a skein. It's decent yarn so I bought all that they had. I'm not really a brown knitter and wouldn't have chosen this color for her mitts on my own. But she chose a cotton sport weight yarn that wouldn't have made a warm mitt. I suggested this yarn and she was happy with it. I am surprised at how much I like the color once it's knit up. I will probably make a hat to match the mitts, but I'm sure with her auburn hair, she will not wear it much. It will probably become my brother's.

My brother has been contrite since Thursday night. Apologetically trying not to tread on our toes. It's totally unnecessary. Karen and I both understand that he was suffering a panic attack on Thursday. Yesterday we stopped at the Green Market and bought some Sativa capsules to be ready for the next time one comes on. I have never used pot to head off anxiety, and I wonder how it works. I don't smoke it much because it tends to make me paranoid and I don't like the feeling. We also went to Costco. Going on Saturday is a mistake. I kept contemplating going back to the car and downing one or more of those capsules. We will probably make another trip to Costco before Thanksgiving, but it won't be on a Saturday.

So, the afternoon is wearing on. I am still in my pajamas. But I have straightened my room a bit and cleaned the wax out of all my votive jars. I should get dinner started. I was going to make Swiss steak, but I don't want the bother of pealing and mashing the potatoes. I will probably make the roast instead. Then I  only have to wash the potatoes and carrots and cut them up. It is just a lazy kind of day.

Atmospheric River

I heard the term "atmospheric river" for the first time this week. The idea is simple enough. A large river of moisture in the atmosphere dumping rain for several days on the area.  I think I must seem like the Washingtonian who goes to the south and encounters a thunder storm for the first time. It's kind of the same thing. They don't have atmospheric rivers in Georgia and they don't have thunderstorms in Washington. My environmental stupidity explained adequately is as follows: In Georgia I know the weather patterns, what is normal and what is not. I can get clues from nature as to what I can expect to happen in the weather. Here in Washington, I am devoid of them. The old signs of when the weather is changing are totally different here. I don't understand the bird flocking pattern here, so I don't see the signs of a coming storm or a temperature change. The squirrels are different. The trees are different. Even the colors of fall leaves are different and the pattern that they arrive on the trees is different. It's a bit like being hit in the head during a tornado and waking up on the streets of Oz. But a nice Oz, with no houses falling on wicked witches or strange dwarfs singing songs about yellow brick roads. But it is also a wet Oz, pouring  rain for the past few days and will continue at least into next week. No wonder wicked witches don't stand a chance here.

Yesterday my sister and I went to Olympia to visit with a friend. Karen has spoken of Sandy since we were both very young adults. Even though this was the first time I had met her in person, I felt as if I already knew her. We planned to meet up at Starbucks, but Karen and I did not encounter the heavy traffic we'd imagined. We arrived more than an hour early. There was a Hobby Lobby in the same shopping center, so we headed there to spend time and money. I love their yarn and picked up 4 skeins that I think are spectacular.  After that we went to Starbucks to drink tea and wait. Sandy didn't have the same luck that we had and she arrived about 30 minutes late. We finished our tea and headed out into the city to do touristy things.

 We ate lunch at a locally owned pizza restaurant. It was kind of artsy fartsy, but had the choice to leave a meal for someone who needed one, which is always nice.  The food was good and the waitress was better. We all enjoyed the meal.  Then we headed next door to an upscale chocolatier. The candies were so pretty, but also expensive. I didn't buy one because I just can't see myself spending $3 on a single piece of chocolate that is actually too pretty to eat. Instead, I purchased a cup of hot chocolate. It was the creamiest, richest I have ever had. More than a dessert in itself. Next door to that store was the gelato shop where Karen and Sandy purchased pumpkin spice and fudge gelato. But I, being always out of step bought a CBD water.

We didn't spend the whole day eating. After we left the gelato shop we found what is called a GW Blue store. In this area Goodwill takes the best of the stuff people give them and puts it into boutiques. They feel this makes the cast offs worth more. I found a sweater, but was unwilling to pay $20 for a second hand sweater. I bought some flannel lined tights that were new and at a regular price. But the whole idea bothers me. I shop at Goodwill to get a bargain on something that I don't care if someone else has owned. I don't want to pay full retail for cast off clothing.

Our next stop was at a very eclectic shop that has been in business in Olympia for 96 years. I'm sure that when it opened it was a general merchandise store. Now it sells gift books, hand milled soaps and candles and fine linens, etc. It really is the kind of place to go if you are looking for a gift for the person who has everything.  I bought Karen a book of quotes from Henry David Thoreau that I will put in her stocking on Christmas. On the other hand, Karen surprised me with a candle that I had admired, but left sitting on the shelf. The candle is kind of plain Jane for the store, but the smell is to die for. It is called Frasier Fur and it lives up to it's name. It smells just like a Christmas tree.

We had planned to walk around the city visiting more places and admiring the architecture. But remember the atmospheric river that I wrote about earlier. It caught up with us as we were coming out of the eclectic store. I was glad that I had slipped the book into the pocket of my raincoat after paying for it. I didn't want Karen to see me with a bag. The day had been drizzly all afternoon, but as we were walking toward a park it became torrential. We got drenched running the block and a half back to Karen's car.  We drove Sandy back to her car that was still parked at Starbucks and headed home in a rainy rush hour.

Over all it was a fun afternoon. And hey, you didn't one picture of a cat sleeping on my bed in this post. Doesn't that make you happy?  ;0)

Hiding in My Room

My brother has anxiety issues. The truth be told, everyone in my family suffers from an anxiety disorder of one form or another. But his look a lot like mine and are triggered by changes in his environment.

Last week Ghost got sick and it took a bit to get a vet to see him. And they gave Ken a promotion at work. He now supervises 4 new people. Then the three little kittens came over last weekend. They were on the wild side and broke several things that we weren't happy about. One was the small electric fireplace that we purchased in June and have just started using. Actually, they didn't break it. But one of them was turning it on when the halogen light bulbs blew out. And then of course it was the full moon. So this week I wasn't paying attention to his warning behaviors and I made a few more changes. While a new desk in my room doesn't really change things for him, the desk replaced a chair that he really likes and doesn't have room anywhere else in the house for it. It is in the shed now. I should have been more sensitive to his moods. It's easier when we try to notice when the other is having problems.

So today Ken's anxiety has been jumping on my last nerve. It jumped on Karen's too and sparked an outburst from her. That didn't make things any better.

When Ken got up this morning his dog wasn't sleeping on his bed where he normally is. Bear went into Karen's room sometime during the night and was trying to sleep on the cat's bed. Ken panicked and woke us both up fussing that Bear had gotten out during the night. Neither Karen nor I really got back to sleep after that.

The new halogen bulbs came in the mail today. Ken brought them in from the mailbox when he got home at noon. He only works a half day on Fridays. He was annoyed that I ordered them. He wanted to get a large Amazon cart going and order everything at once. I understand this is the way he likes to do things, but it doesn't make sense to me. Amazon sends everything in different packages anyway. Changing the bulbs was easy, but I could see the tension building every minute that he was working on it. I had told him that I could handle it but to him fixing things is his job. Some things aren't worth the breath it would take to argue the point. I learned long ago to give this one a rest. It doesn't mean that I shy away from fixing the things I can. But if he has it, I just don't get in his way.

It took all of 10 minutes to replace the bulbs and wouldn't have taken that long if he'd used the magnetic screw driver. But his anxiety took over after it was finished and he just wouldn't leave it alone. First he turned on the fire to make sure it was working. Then he kept adjusting the brightness of the flame. Then the room was a bit chilly so he turned the heater on low. But that wasn't enough for him so he kept turning it up. After a half hour the room was getting a little toasty so Karen turned the heat back down to low. So Ken's anxiety took over and the whole thing had to go off. Even having the flame on was throwing him into anxiety overdrive. I was more than annoyed that I wasn't being allowed to enjoy the fireplace after all the trouble to get it working again. I went to the kitchen to get dinner started.

I decided that the cold rainy evening we here having would call for comfort food, so I made Shepherd's Pie. We don't have a hand mixer, so I got the large Kitchen Aid out of the cabinet and set it on the counter. As I was pealing the potatoes, Ken came into the kitchen and started putting the mixer back in the cabinet. I told him to leave it because I needed it for the mashed potatoes. While I prepared the meat, vegetable and gravy layer I was boiling the potatoes. Ken came into the kitchen again and started to put the mixer back in the cabinet. I asked him if he had a problem with the mixer. That was the wrong thing to do, and I should know it. His feelings got a little hurt. The told me that the mixer takes too much room on the counter. I know this, but I still need to use it. I softened my tone and told him I'd let him know when I was finished. He kept checking to make sure that it wasn't in my way. He was happier when I had the pie in the oven and had finished washing out the bowl and beater. I finally let him clear the mixer off the counter.

At dinner he announced that he had next Friday off. Karen will only be working 2 hours that day and she suggested that we should do something together. He said that we should go to Point Defiance. It's a nice place, but it's supposed to be chilly and raining that day. So I said "Or, we could go to Joint Base Lewis-McChord and tour the base and infantry museum. Our father went to basic training there and was stationed there several times. He had wanted to bring the family out to live  there, but was never able to get a permanent station. I'd really like to see it and Karen was enthusiastic about it. Then Ken's anxiety took over and he said "But I'd like to get a good amount of yard work done before we go. We could wait until the kittens are out of school and go then." I lost it. This is just a stalling tactic. He has a day off and he is anxious about spending it away from home.  I pointed out that the tours end at 5:00 and by the time we picked the kittens up and got there it would be a half hour before it closed. I didn't want to make the trip and not be able to have enough time to enjoy it.  Besides, it really isn't the kind of thing little girls are into. He snapped that we could just go on Saturday. But Saturday we are picking the kittens up to take them to the community Trunk or Treat both here and in Enumclaw. Then  he kept throwing out all kinds of other plans on when we could go.

After dinner I finally had enough of his anxiety and came to hide in my room. I know it. I do understand it. His anxiety causes him to fixate on one thing and he can't relax until that thing is put right for him. He was tired when he came home. It would have been better to not have seen the bulbs for the fireplace. But having them made him anxious and until it was fixed and he had control of it, there was no calm place for him. It was the same for the mixer. It was out of it's place and on the counter. His anxiety made him fixate on it until it was back in the cabinet where it belonged.  While he wants to get out and do fun things, his anxiety holds him to a fixed regime of home and work.  Actually agreeing on an plan caused him to fixate on the trip and his need to sabotage it so it wouldn't happen.

My anxiety acts in similar ways. In the kitchen pots, pans, utensils have to be washed and put away while I'm working or it becomes overwhelming for me. Taking the kittens to something that isn't child friendly, even a restaurant makes me not want to even go. I would be so conscious of where they were and what they were doing that none of us would enjoy it. I would find a way to make sure that I wasn't on that trip. I can tell myself that the world isn't going to end if the climb under the table or wander off to the gumball machines. But it doesn't stop my anxiety.

We have apologized to each other. And we do understand it. But while it makes us aware that we need to be kind to each other, it doesn't change the anxiety or our poor coping skills for it.  The funny thing is that Karen says she doesn't suffer from anxiety. Believe me she does. It just manifests itself differently than it does with Ken and I.

One of the things I truly appreciated about living alone was that the only anxiety I had to deal with was my own.

Dancing With the Angels

 

A great American died last night. With his passing some of the hope that The United States of American can return to the core values that made us a great nation has passed with him. Not the divisive hatred that has had a strangle hold us for the past several years. But the true greatness that this country possessed, a true understanding of right from wrong and a willingness to do the right thing. At this point in history we are woefully short of that high standard. It is to our utter shame. 

Rep. Elijah Cummings, while you are dancing with the angles, please ask them to petition the Throne of Heaven on our behalf; that we can find the path of righteousness again. And that we will always remember that the people we come in contact with are humans who are endowed by their Creator with the same inalienable rights that we share in this country; Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness.

New Desk

I have been trying to work from the couch or propped up on my bed. It just hasn't worked well for me. The bed makes my back hurt, and the cats think that it's automatically lap time. How dare I pay attention to the computer when they want to snuggle. They consider the couch snuggle time too and like to walk on the keyboard. But more than that, being in the main room invites my brother and sister into conversations. I haven't been able to set up a good routine with either space. I need a space that is set apart.

Today I decided to fix it. I went to the thrift store and found a desk and a chair that are in excellent condition. This particular thrift store has half off on Wednesdays for seniors, so it was extremely affordable. Best of all, it gave me an excuse to remove the recliner that had become a junk dump station. I was never able to sit in it because it was filled with my purse and rain coat and reusable bags and whatever else didn't have a proper place.

I love roll top desks. I have always wanted one. But most that I have seen are huge. This one is about the size of a secretary desk. It fits well into the space, even opening up some space in the center of the room.

The down side is that Max and Ghost don't know what to make of it. They come in to get reassurance head scratches while I'm here. But they don't seem to think that it's okay to be on the bed if I'm not there with them. Which is strange, because they have no problem with being on my bed if I'm not in the room. The only cat who does not seem to have a problem with it is Pippi. That is strange too because she considered the chair her domain, but had no issue with taking up her reign on the bed.

I'm getting my bedroom in order and now I have no real reason to not blog. And I have no excuse to not keep the business end of my life in order. I have a place to put the important things so they don't get lost. And now I have a place to go to work on a project that has been brewing in my head for a while. I will talk more about that later. And if nothing else, I have another shelf to collect my pretty things.

Update on Ghost

He is currently sleeping on his chosen spot on my bed. My sister and niece took him into the vet on Monday, (the one I was told couldn't see him until Tuesday, and then was told she was out of town.) She checked him out and decided he had an infection in the paw that was spreading into the leg. She gave him one of those super antibiotic shots and they brought him home. He immediately jumped out of the carrier and hobbled as fast as he could back to my bed to take up residence for the remainder of the day. In  the early morning hours he decided he'd like to roam around the house a bit, jumped off the bed and ran out the door as if there was never anything wrong with him to begin with. It is amazing how fast antibiotics work in an animal  that rarely receives them. He spent today between resting and  reclaiming all of the spots he's ignored while he was lame and lying about on my bed. Now he prefers spending the late evening hours with me. I think my room is officially the cat room.

Happy Thanksgiving

Happy Thanksgiving to my Canadian friends. I hope that this holiday finds you well. And that you will have a wonderful day filled with family and friends.

The holiday in the US is still several weeks off. This year, I am grateful for that for many reasons. I have thought in the past that the holidays feel like Happy Hallothanksmasnewyear. Once October starts the year runs non-stop, full speed through the holidays and right into the next year. Often not giving me time to reflect on or fully appreciate the day that I should be celebrating. As much as I want to make this year different, I'm not sure that can happen. I will spend this year without my children, or grandchildren. And without the friends, co-workers and church family that I spent my life around. It is an opportunity for me to make new memories and new traditions, but I miss everyone. And I'm a bit homesick. Being here is good for me. And there are many reasons that staying wouldn't have worked. But holidays are a transition, and I'm going to have to work through this one.

Part of the reason the nostalgia has hit me so hard this weekend is a bit of sleep deprivation. Our black cat, Ghost has been injured and has been hanging out in my room. I noticed him limping on Wednesday after I came home from Sit and Knit. I tried to get him to let me see the paw, but he refused. It was a really cold night and he was lying by the door in the living room. I picked him up and brought him to the chair in my room. It's one of his favorite places. Thursday morning he was favoring his paw, but still getting around. I finally got a look at it. From what I can tell it seems he's split the hind claw. I called the number for the vet, but since he isn't technically my cat, she wouldn't give me an appointment. My sister called my niece who came over and disagreed with me over the cause of his limping. She looked it up on Google and said that he most likely had a strained paw. He let us take turns holding him with a wash cloth soaked in Epson salts on it.

By Friday morning he'd quit putting weight on the paw and it is swollen, a little more than twice the size it normally is. My niece called the vet again, and was told that she was out of town, we should take him somewhere else. The only options were to take him to an emergency animal hospital or wait until Monday. We can't afford the emergency vet, so the poor kitty has had to suffer since Wednesday. In the mean time, he's gotten really attached to me and very used to my bed. I think he may have  taken it over.

The other thing that happened this weekend is that Jess got married in Georgia. As planned, Mollie was her Maid of Honor.  Mollie wanted to give the speech of her life for Jess's toast. And to do that, she instant messanged and Facetimed me all night on Friday. The toast had to be perfect for her friend. And it was. Her boyfriend, Chris filmed it for me and I saw it. She did a fabulous job.

These girls, born on the same day. Friends forever and joined at the hip even though they now live nearly a thousand miles apart. And their lives are so different.

I feel sad that we all live so far from each other. And still I'm glad for the technology that keeps us all together.

Cats and the Three Little Kittens

The weather has been getting cooler and it has turned the cats into snugglers even more than normal. The place that they love to snuggle most seems to be my bed. I have had two or three of them sleeping with me almost every night. That being said, I am really not much of a pet in the bed person. But discouraging them would take more energy than I have to give it.

yYou know, taking over my bed is one thing. But now they seem to want to take over my computer too...

The weekend is coming up. This will be the first one in three that we haven't had the three little kittens over. Last weekend a group called Flight Club had an event, mostly for children at the community center. Flight Club is a travelling aviarium. The kittens loved seeing the birds during the Main Street Festival, and more so at the community center. They were able to interact with the birds indoors in ways that wasn't possible while they were located outside.

To say the least, they had a wonderful time. They came home from the center, ate dinner and were in bed watching a movie by 8:00.  The next day we went to a pumpkin patch and corn maze. The kittens had a blast. We went on the hay ride, walked through the children's maze, played farm games, fed goats and rabbits and played in the corn and hay bins.

We had a beautiful fall day to do it. The weather was a bit nippy, and mostly sunny where we were at. But as we were out enjoying the day on the horizon we could see the snowfall that was happening not even 50 miles away in the mountains.

I have seen storms roll in over the Atlantic ocean and over the great plains, but this was a first for me. It was fascinating and beautiful.

I don't have much planned for this weekend. The Puget Sound Yarn Crawl will be happening, but I haven't signed up for any more of it other than helping out for a few hours at A Little Knitty. If the nice weather holds tomorrow, I may go out and take some photos for another post that I keep thinking about. 

Whatever your weekend holds, I hope it's something that will make great memories for you.