Tuesday, April 14, 2020

Same Bat Time, Same Bat Channel

It's been sixteen years since the pink tee shirt was handed to me. Every year it's been a time for me to stop and gasp. I survived another year. To be honest, I didn't really expect to survive the first year. My oncologist put it this way.

"We hoped you would survive. We did everything we could to help you. But we didn't expect it. You are that miracle  that we hope for and never get."

Now, in light of everything that is happening, it seems like...I don't know. It just doesn't seem so shocking. Maybe it's the passage of time. Sixteen years is a long time. If I had planted a tree, it would be a mature tree by now. If it was a child, it would be learning to drive. Maybe not. Can you teach a child to drive during a quarantine?

I'd hoped there would be a cure by now. I've heard there is, but it's for those whose cancer is fed by hormones. Mine wasn't. I was ER/PR-, HER2/neu+++. If you know breast cancer it means something. If you don't it's better to not need to know. The president said the cure can't be worse than the disease. I wanted to take him on a tour of a cancer infusion center. The cure is pretty damned hard. And it's not a cure. It's a treatment. Nice fucking rock he has to live under. I'd like my language to be better, but it is what it is.


Sixteen years and I've survived.

7 comments:

  1. Such an important anniversary! Congratulations and keep on being healthy!

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  2. I'm glad you survived. I have lost more than one friend to cancer and have a few who are fighting as we speak.
    16 years. Wow.

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  3. YAYZ, FELLOW CANCER SURVIVOR! glad you are in the world. 6/21/20 will be 31 years surviving stage 3 cervical cancer for me. WE ARE STRONG, WE ARE INVINCIBLE, WE ARE SURVIVORS!

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  4. I am so glad that you survived - and really like your oncologist's words.
    Over here, for the moment, driving lessons can continue. Testing when the lessons are done is more problematic.

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  5. I am so happy you are a survivor. My sister is, my husband is and you are so right the 'cure' is horrible. Thank you for being so brave.

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  6. 16 years is an accomplishment! My sister in law was diagnosed and given only a 20 % chance of survival, she is very ill now during chemo. I think there is more big pharma money in treatment and not in a cure ...just my opinion:(

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    1. I"m sorry to hear about your sister-in-law. Chemo is a terrible thing. When I hear people talk lightly about the treatment being worse than the disease, it infuriates me. Every day people endure horrific treatments, and still they do it because it holds a possibility of preserving life. It's not something to treat lightly. I hope the best for her. I will keep her in my prayers.

      Several years ago Dr. Fauci spoke at a CDC symposium on using sanitized HIV viruses to transport corrected genes into cells of boys with Hemophilia to enhance their ability to produce the protein that will allow their blood to clot. He said that the number one hurdle to the research was that it would take a several billion dollar industry and turn it into million dollar industry. And no one was willing to fund such research. He didn't say it, but the implication was that successful cancer treatments are the same way. Now he is working with an administration that would like nothing better than to throw grandma under the bus to save the stock market. It's incredible.

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