There's Nothing to Say Really

I came outside to sit at the end of the day. In the distance there is a cloud where heat lightning is dancing in a futile attempt to become a storm. Otherwise, the skies are clear. I hope that I might be able to observe some of the meteor showers that have been gracing the horizon. But considering the amount of light pollution that isn't very likely. Nightfall is slowly setting in. The tree frogs have begun to sing their evening songs. The stars are making their appearance.  In the distance, someone's car alarm has begun to blare a warning. It is taking a long time for the owner to quiet it. My head is throbbing. As I become annoyed at the disturbance, I see one meteor and then another shoot across the sky. I am amazed that I caught them. 

I stand to go inside and stumble, nearly falling. I didn't realize that I am that weak. My head is throbbing all the more. I have a sharp pain in my left abdomen, is it my spleen or my pancreas? I use the resources that are available to me, my sphygmomanometer and my glucometer. Both readings are extremely high. I consider getting medical help, but that seems like torture to me. That will be torture. Or I could just go back outside and watch the skies, be peaceful. 

This is America right now. Our government is raging out of control. It is criminalizing being poor. And our medical system is doing everything in its power to assure that those who dare to get ill will have every last financial resource drained from them. If I seek help I will be crushed by debt I will never be able to repay...again. Or I could go outside. Maybe I will die, but I will not be tortured to death. My finances will not be vandalized and pilfered. The supposed best medical care in the whole world is of no use to those too poor to obtain it. In this country, you don't have to be poor to meet that standard.

I wish my head would quit pounding, that my side didn't feel like an icepick was chipping away at ny internal organs. Maybe then I could think straight.

It's hot. There is no breeze tonight. The world is falling apart while it spins along unaware.