Home

This is my home now. I have lived here for five months. But it still does not have that feel of permanence that I have been missing. I have most of the things that I need to live here comfortably, but still, it seems to be missing something that I can't quite put a name to. 

I did get a table, though not the one I told you about so many months ago. It's just as well. The one I didn't get, I only sort of liked. It would have done for a table, but I wasn't really excited about it. The one I did end up getting defines the space and the mood for the rest of the apartment. I am very happy with it.

I've bought chairs and end tables and dressers. And just when I had come to the strong conclusion that I do not enjoy putting furniture together, I discovered that I had enough money to purchase furniture for the guest room. So, I bought that too. And then I had to put all of that furniture together. I am done for a while, I think. That is unless the republicans decide that they will attempt to buy our votes and give us all a nice fat check signed by none other than the demented pedophile we have for a wannabe king. If they really wanted to buy a few votes, they'd 25th amendment his rear and get rid of the VP too. But that is unlikely to happen. They could decide that the 160 billion dollars they stole from us in the form of illegal tarriffs should be repaid to us, the taxpayers and not to Jeff Bezos and the Walton kids. And even if they did that, I would never vote for anyone stupid enough to call themselves a republican. If, on the off chance they decide to give us a check, I will buy a new couch. The one my son gave me is not really comfortable, and I'd like to get one of the boneless ones. I have one picked out, just in case. The beauty of it is that there will be nothing to assemble. Just open the bag and let the thing decompress.

I've done quite a bit of travelling lately. My ex's foster mother died at the beginning of March. She had been a good friend and mother-in-law to me and a grandmother to my children. But the divorce did a lot to sever the relationship. What wasn't broken by that, MAGA and the deranged wannabe king destroyed. I had not talked to them in quite a while. But my son wanted to go to Texas for the memorial service, and I went too. 

While we were there, we were struck with the vacation mirage, "wouldn't it be nice to live there?" Rent prices in the area are about half of what they are here (meaning a sixth of what I was paying in Washington) and the price for food is amazingly cheap. Tim and I both talked about looking into moving there after our leases are up. The reality is that I knew even while we were musing about it that I will never live there again. I doubt if I will ever even go there again. And once home he realized that talking his fiancé into moving 1500 miles from her family just isn't going to happen. 

After being home a few days, Tim and I travelled to Georgia for a funeral mass that the priest who will marry him and Emily said for Jayne. Afterward we all went to dinner and discussed the upcoming nuptials. Jack graduates from high school in a few weeks, and Tim's lease is up at the end of July. The wedding is coming up fast and furious. 

Tim and Emily will live in Georgia, near her family. Her mother homeschools her son, so moving would be a hardship for them. And when Tim and Jack leave, I will be here alone. I am having difficulty with that little bit of reality. But I am sure that I will cope. The thought of moving again is repulsive to me right now. I am sure that even though I have no feelings of belonging here, I will sign a new lease when mine comes up in February. I've bought the furniture to fit this place. It would only make sense. I really don't want to take all this furniture apart and put it together again. And besides, the table is glass. Moving it would be a pain.