Happy Halloween Week

Sorry to get back to you all so late again. Cheese is still puttering along with us, though we see him getting weaker almost by the day. He remains a strong willed little thing. He has taken to staying in my sisters room most of the time now. Every now and then he will get up and go into the kitchen for food and water, and he still goes outside to take care of business, but beyond that he isn't really doing much.

The three little kittens came over this weekend to go to the community Trunk-or-Treat with us. They were more than a bit wild this weekend, being all hyped up on celebrations, parties and sugar. Still they were respectful of Cheese.  We had discussed what to tell them about him before they came over. Ken really didn't want us to say anything to them. Soon it became like the elephant in the room and we gently explained that Cheese had lived a long and comfortable life, but his days are becoming few now. The middle child asked if he was going to pass over the rainbow bridge. I'm not sure how that euphemism came into being, and I'm very reticent about the theology involved in it. However, it seemed like a kind and gentle way to get the message across. So we all agreed that is how we are explaining it. They were a bit distressed by all this.  We pointed out that we still have Cheese with us and should be happy for the time he has left with us. Their distress lasted long enough to make their way to the celebrations at the park. They spent the night with us and Cheese did manage to make it to the couches they were sleeping on and curl up with the youngest child.

While we were out my son sent a picture of Jack in his costume. My daughter-in-law has outdone herself this year. She is very good with costumes. At first I thought that he was dressing up as Jack and the Beanstalk. When he Face timed with me later, I learned that he's actually Spout from the Green Giant advertisements. When I asked him why he'd chosen that costume, he told me he was helping make dinner when his mother asked him and it was the first thing he saw. I thought to myself that it was a very good thing he wasn't helping load toilet paper into the pantry when the subject came up. This is typical of how this child's mind works. He's very much in the moment and doesn't spend a lot of time thinking on the things he doesn't have.  Once I asked him what he wanted for Christmas. He thought for a minute and said he wanted a Christmas tree. His mind wasn't on getting a present, though he does like them. He was just in the moment of celebrating the holiday and wanted to put his tree up.

The weather is turning colder and Karen and I  decided that we needed to upgrade our shoes before the bad weather came. We went to the outlets in Northbend. She had been speaking about making a trip there as if it were a fabulous place. In reality, it is just your usual outlet mall. I am a bit jaded by having had one so close when I lived in Georgia.  I was lucky to find two pairs  of shoes that I really liked at a 75% off sale. Karen also found the shoes she needed, and they are very similar to the ones that I chose. I am astounded at how similar our tastes are. I never noticed it when we were growing up. It's funny, but we will be getting dressed in our own bed rooms and come out both dressed in the same color flannel shirts. Our rain coats are similar, our shoes are similar, even the cut of our jeans are the same.  At first one of us would go change, now we don't bother. If we were the same size we could borrow each others clothes like we used to and be perfectly happy with it.

Unfortunately, we aren't the only one's that are noticing the change in the weather. We had the kittens paint some pumpkins, and put them out on the porch. When I was going out to check on some things this evening the smallest pumpkin was half eaten in the yard. I suppose one or more of the squirrels must have gotten it. I have never seen a squirrel come on the porch before. Mostly they are afraid of the cats. Karen believes it is a sign that the winter will be a hard one. I have to say that I agree.  It makes me glad that I upgraded my shoes. I wore the ones I had for a couple of years and they are worse for it. The new ones will definitely keep my feet dryer and warmer.

Ken spent the weekend getting the yard ready for colder weather. Our Strawberries are covered and the potted plants have been brought into the mud room. He pruned some of the bushes and trees. Karen and I will spend next weekend giving the house a good cleaning and shampooing the carpets. It will make it nicer for our holiday meal guests and hopefully keep us from getting sick while everything is closed up for winter.

This post is all over the place. But I did want to get something out before more needs to be added. Hope you are having some spooky fun this week.

P.S. This post has been heavily edited. After re-reading it I realized that I should have read it before I posted. My apologies to those who were nice enough to read my rambling before I came to my senses.

A Sweater For Cheese

Our oldest cat is coming to the end of his days. He spends most of them curled up sleeping. It isn't all that alarming as that is exactly what the other cats do. But he is beginning to have trouble using his hind legs. We know that he probably won't be with us for Christmas. I will be surprised to see him still here at Thanksgiving. We are hoping that he will die peacefully here at home. He hates to be picked up and carried. Taking him into a vet will be traumatic for him. In Woodstock, I know a vet that will come out to your home to provide that sort of care. I'm told there is no one here that will do it. Such a shame.

The weather has turned cooler with the rain that we have been having. Cheese shivers with the cold. When we see him uncovered, we cover him up. But it makes it harder for him to get up when he needs. He is a proud kitty. He still does his business outside and wants no help. He also does not want food and water brought to him. He prefers to have it in the spot where it always has been. I finished my sisters mitts yesterday and started on a sweater for cheese. Hopefully he will agree to wear it. Karen told me that he had a pumpkin costume when he was young that he cried when it was taken off of him. I decided that his comfort sweater should be a pumpkin sweater. I didn't do much besides work on it all day. I should think that another day and it will be done. But there is part of me that fears that if I finish it, he will die. It's an irrational thought, I know. But my mind has taken hold of it and it's seed is planted there. I'll finish the sweater anyway. I hate to see the poor fellow shivering.

I didn't do more than work on the sweater yesterday. I don't have much else to say. I fear that I have become a old cat woman, complete with a silver braid running down my back. I'll have to work on not letting this become a hoarder house.

Sleepy Sunday

It's quiet today. Even the animals seem to be observing a protestants Sabbath rest. The atmospheric river persists and we are on our fourth day with periods of drenching rain. It seems to be adding to the contemplative feeling of the house.

I am making a pair of fingerless mitts for my sister. I started off with reading Tin Can Knit's Maize pattern. It's on Ravelry. But quickly decided that I wanted a different cuff and a different finger cover. So I preceded onward and knit my own kind of thing. Fortunately, my sister tried it on and it fits her hand exactly and works the way she wants it to. Now I'm trying to knit the second mitt from memory of how I knit the first. There are kinks in my madness' method. I bought the yarn way back on a day when Walmart was wanting to redo the craft section of their store. The had Caron yarn marked at $0.35 a skein. It's decent yarn so I bought all that they had. I'm not really a brown knitter and wouldn't have chosen this color for her mitts on my own. But she chose a cotton sport weight yarn that wouldn't have made a warm mitt. I suggested this yarn and she was happy with it. I am surprised at how much I like the color once it's knit up. I will probably make a hat to match the mitts, but I'm sure with her auburn hair, she will not wear it much. It will probably become my brother's.

My brother has been contrite since Thursday night. Apologetically trying not to tread on our toes. It's totally unnecessary. Karen and I both understand that he was suffering a panic attack on Thursday. Yesterday we stopped at the Green Market and bought some Sativa capsules to be ready for the next time one comes on. I have never used pot to head off anxiety, and I wonder how it works. I don't smoke it much because it tends to make me paranoid and I don't like the feeling. We also went to Costco. Going on Saturday is a mistake. I kept contemplating going back to the car and downing one or more of those capsules. We will probably make another trip to Costco before Thanksgiving, but it won't be on a Saturday.

So, the afternoon is wearing on. I am still in my pajamas. But I have straightened my room a bit and cleaned the wax out of all my votive jars. I should get dinner started. I was going to make Swiss steak, but I don't want the bother of pealing and mashing the potatoes. I will probably make the roast instead. Then I  only have to wash the potatoes and carrots and cut them up. It is just a lazy kind of day.

Atmospheric River

I heard the term "atmospheric river" for the first time this week. The idea is simple enough. A large river of moisture in the atmosphere dumping rain for several days on the area.  I think I must seem like the Washingtonian who goes to the south and encounters a thunder storm for the first time. It's kind of the same thing. They don't have atmospheric rivers in Georgia and they don't have thunderstorms in Washington. My environmental stupidity explained adequately is as follows: In Georgia I know the weather patterns, what is normal and what is not. I can get clues from nature as to what I can expect to happen in the weather. Here in Washington, I am devoid of them. The old signs of when the weather is changing are totally different here. I don't understand the bird flocking pattern here, so I don't see the signs of a coming storm or a temperature change. The squirrels are different. The trees are different. Even the colors of fall leaves are different and the pattern that they arrive on the trees is different. It's a bit like being hit in the head during a tornado and waking up on the streets of Oz. But a nice Oz, with no houses falling on wicked witches or strange dwarfs singing songs about yellow brick roads. But it is also a wet Oz, pouring  rain for the past few days and will continue at least into next week. No wonder wicked witches don't stand a chance here.

Yesterday my sister and I went to Olympia to visit with a friend. Karen has spoken of Sandy since we were both very young adults. Even though this was the first time I had met her in person, I felt as if I already knew her. We planned to meet up at Starbucks, but Karen and I did not encounter the heavy traffic we'd imagined. We arrived more than an hour early. There was a Hobby Lobby in the same shopping center, so we headed there to spend time and money. I love their yarn and picked up 4 skeins that I think are spectacular.  After that we went to Starbucks to drink tea and wait. Sandy didn't have the same luck that we had and she arrived about 30 minutes late. We finished our tea and headed out into the city to do touristy things.

 We ate lunch at a locally owned pizza restaurant. It was kind of artsy fartsy, but had the choice to leave a meal for someone who needed one, which is always nice.  The food was good and the waitress was better. We all enjoyed the meal.  Then we headed next door to an upscale chocolatier. The candies were so pretty, but also expensive. I didn't buy one because I just can't see myself spending $3 on a single piece of chocolate that is actually too pretty to eat. Instead, I purchased a cup of hot chocolate. It was the creamiest, richest I have ever had. More than a dessert in itself. Next door to that store was the gelato shop where Karen and Sandy purchased pumpkin spice and fudge gelato. But I, being always out of step bought a CBD water.

We didn't spend the whole day eating. After we left the gelato shop we found what is called a GW Blue store. In this area Goodwill takes the best of the stuff people give them and puts it into boutiques. They feel this makes the cast offs worth more. I found a sweater, but was unwilling to pay $20 for a second hand sweater. I bought some flannel lined tights that were new and at a regular price. But the whole idea bothers me. I shop at Goodwill to get a bargain on something that I don't care if someone else has owned. I don't want to pay full retail for cast off clothing.

Our next stop was at a very eclectic shop that has been in business in Olympia for 96 years. I'm sure that when it opened it was a general merchandise store. Now it sells gift books, hand milled soaps and candles and fine linens, etc. It really is the kind of place to go if you are looking for a gift for the person who has everything.  I bought Karen a book of quotes from Henry David Thoreau that I will put in her stocking on Christmas. On the other hand, Karen surprised me with a candle that I had admired, but left sitting on the shelf. The candle is kind of plain Jane for the store, but the smell is to die for. It is called Frasier Fur and it lives up to it's name. It smells just like a Christmas tree.

We had planned to walk around the city visiting more places and admiring the architecture. But remember the atmospheric river that I wrote about earlier. It caught up with us as we were coming out of the eclectic store. I was glad that I had slipped the book into the pocket of my raincoat after paying for it. I didn't want Karen to see me with a bag. The day had been drizzly all afternoon, but as we were walking toward a park it became torrential. We got drenched running the block and a half back to Karen's car.  We drove Sandy back to her car that was still parked at Starbucks and headed home in a rainy rush hour.

Over all it was a fun afternoon. And hey, you didn't one picture of a cat sleeping on my bed in this post. Doesn't that make you happy?  ;0)

Hiding in My Room

My brother has anxiety issues. The truth be told, everyone in my family suffers from an anxiety disorder of one form or another. But his look a lot like mine and are triggered by changes in his environment.

Last week Ghost got sick and it took a bit to get a vet to see him. And they gave Ken a promotion at work. He now supervises 4 new people. Then the three little kittens came over last weekend. They were on the wild side and broke several things that we weren't happy about. One was the small electric fireplace that we purchased in June and have just started using. Actually, they didn't break it. But one of them was turning it on when the halogen light bulbs blew out. And then of course it was the full moon. So this week I wasn't paying attention to his warning behaviors and I made a few more changes. While a new desk in my room doesn't really change things for him, the desk replaced a chair that he really likes and doesn't have room anywhere else in the house for it. It is in the shed now. I should have been more sensitive to his moods. It's easier when we try to notice when the other is having problems.

So today Ken's anxiety has been jumping on my last nerve. It jumped on Karen's too and sparked an outburst from her. That didn't make things any better.

When Ken got up this morning his dog wasn't sleeping on his bed where he normally is. Bear went into Karen's room sometime during the night and was trying to sleep on the cat's bed. Ken panicked and woke us both up fussing that Bear had gotten out during the night. Neither Karen nor I really got back to sleep after that.

The new halogen bulbs came in the mail today. Ken brought them in from the mailbox when he got home at noon. He only works a half day on Fridays. He was annoyed that I ordered them. He wanted to get a large Amazon cart going and order everything at once. I understand this is the way he likes to do things, but it doesn't make sense to me. Amazon sends everything in different packages anyway. Changing the bulbs was easy, but I could see the tension building every minute that he was working on it. I had told him that I could handle it but to him fixing things is his job. Some things aren't worth the breath it would take to argue the point. I learned long ago to give this one a rest. It doesn't mean that I shy away from fixing the things I can. But if he has it, I just don't get in his way.

It took all of 10 minutes to replace the bulbs and wouldn't have taken that long if he'd used the magnetic screw driver. But his anxiety took over after it was finished and he just wouldn't leave it alone. First he turned on the fire to make sure it was working. Then he kept adjusting the brightness of the flame. Then the room was a bit chilly so he turned the heater on low. But that wasn't enough for him so he kept turning it up. After a half hour the room was getting a little toasty so Karen turned the heat back down to low. So Ken's anxiety took over and the whole thing had to go off. Even having the flame on was throwing him into anxiety overdrive. I was more than annoyed that I wasn't being allowed to enjoy the fireplace after all the trouble to get it working again. I went to the kitchen to get dinner started.

I decided that the cold rainy evening we here having would call for comfort food, so I made Shepherd's Pie. We don't have a hand mixer, so I got the large Kitchen Aid out of the cabinet and set it on the counter. As I was pealing the potatoes, Ken came into the kitchen and started putting the mixer back in the cabinet. I told him to leave it because I needed it for the mashed potatoes. While I prepared the meat, vegetable and gravy layer I was boiling the potatoes. Ken came into the kitchen again and started to put the mixer back in the cabinet. I asked him if he had a problem with the mixer. That was the wrong thing to do, and I should know it. His feelings got a little hurt. The told me that the mixer takes too much room on the counter. I know this, but I still need to use it. I softened my tone and told him I'd let him know when I was finished. He kept checking to make sure that it wasn't in my way. He was happier when I had the pie in the oven and had finished washing out the bowl and beater. I finally let him clear the mixer off the counter.

At dinner he announced that he had next Friday off. Karen will only be working 2 hours that day and she suggested that we should do something together. He said that we should go to Point Defiance. It's a nice place, but it's supposed to be chilly and raining that day. So I said "Or, we could go to Joint Base Lewis-McChord and tour the base and infantry museum. Our father went to basic training there and was stationed there several times. He had wanted to bring the family out to live  there, but was never able to get a permanent station. I'd really like to see it and Karen was enthusiastic about it. Then Ken's anxiety took over and he said "But I'd like to get a good amount of yard work done before we go. We could wait until the kittens are out of school and go then." I lost it. This is just a stalling tactic. He has a day off and he is anxious about spending it away from home.  I pointed out that the tours end at 5:00 and by the time we picked the kittens up and got there it would be a half hour before it closed. I didn't want to make the trip and not be able to have enough time to enjoy it.  Besides, it really isn't the kind of thing little girls are into. He snapped that we could just go on Saturday. But Saturday we are picking the kittens up to take them to the community Trunk or Treat both here and in Enumclaw. Then  he kept throwing out all kinds of other plans on when we could go.

After dinner I finally had enough of his anxiety and came to hide in my room. I know it. I do understand it. His anxiety causes him to fixate on one thing and he can't relax until that thing is put right for him. He was tired when he came home. It would have been better to not have seen the bulbs for the fireplace. But having them made him anxious and until it was fixed and he had control of it, there was no calm place for him. It was the same for the mixer. It was out of it's place and on the counter. His anxiety made him fixate on it until it was back in the cabinet where it belonged.  While he wants to get out and do fun things, his anxiety holds him to a fixed regime of home and work.  Actually agreeing on an plan caused him to fixate on the trip and his need to sabotage it so it wouldn't happen.

My anxiety acts in similar ways. In the kitchen pots, pans, utensils have to be washed and put away while I'm working or it becomes overwhelming for me. Taking the kittens to something that isn't child friendly, even a restaurant makes me not want to even go. I would be so conscious of where they were and what they were doing that none of us would enjoy it. I would find a way to make sure that I wasn't on that trip. I can tell myself that the world isn't going to end if the climb under the table or wander off to the gumball machines. But it doesn't stop my anxiety.

We have apologized to each other. And we do understand it. But while it makes us aware that we need to be kind to each other, it doesn't change the anxiety or our poor coping skills for it.  The funny thing is that Karen says she doesn't suffer from anxiety. Believe me she does. It just manifests itself differently than it does with Ken and I.

One of the things I truly appreciated about living alone was that the only anxiety I had to deal with was my own.

Dancing With the Angels

 

A great American died last night. With his passing some of the hope that The United States of American can return to the core values that made us a great nation has passed with him. Not the divisive hatred that has had a strangle hold us for the past several years. But the true greatness that this country possessed, a true understanding of right from wrong and a willingness to do the right thing. At this point in history we are woefully short of that high standard. It is to our utter shame. 

Rep. Elijah Cummings, while you are dancing with the angles, please ask them to petition the Throne of Heaven on our behalf; that we can find the path of righteousness again. And that we will always remember that the people we come in contact with are humans who are endowed by their Creator with the same inalienable rights that we share in this country; Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness.

New Desk

I have been trying to work from the couch or propped up on my bed. It just hasn't worked well for me. The bed makes my back hurt, and the cats think that it's automatically lap time. How dare I pay attention to the computer when they want to snuggle. They consider the couch snuggle time too and like to walk on the keyboard. But more than that, being in the main room invites my brother and sister into conversations. I haven't been able to set up a good routine with either space. I need a space that is set apart.

Today I decided to fix it. I went to the thrift store and found a desk and a chair that are in excellent condition. This particular thrift store has half off on Wednesdays for seniors, so it was extremely affordable. Best of all, it gave me an excuse to remove the recliner that had become a junk dump station. I was never able to sit in it because it was filled with my purse and rain coat and reusable bags and whatever else didn't have a proper place.

I love roll top desks. I have always wanted one. But most that I have seen are huge. This one is about the size of a secretary desk. It fits well into the space, even opening up some space in the center of the room.

The down side is that Max and Ghost don't know what to make of it. They come in to get reassurance head scratches while I'm here. But they don't seem to think that it's okay to be on the bed if I'm not there with them. Which is strange, because they have no problem with being on my bed if I'm not in the room. The only cat who does not seem to have a problem with it is Pippi. That is strange too because she considered the chair her domain, but had no issue with taking up her reign on the bed.

I'm getting my bedroom in order and now I have no real reason to not blog. And I have no excuse to not keep the business end of my life in order. I have a place to put the important things so they don't get lost. And now I have a place to go to work on a project that has been brewing in my head for a while. I will talk more about that later. And if nothing else, I have another shelf to collect my pretty things.

Update on Ghost

He is currently sleeping on his chosen spot on my bed. My sister and niece took him into the vet on Monday, (the one I was told couldn't see him until Tuesday, and then was told she was out of town.) She checked him out and decided he had an infection in the paw that was spreading into the leg. She gave him one of those super antibiotic shots and they brought him home. He immediately jumped out of the carrier and hobbled as fast as he could back to my bed to take up residence for the remainder of the day. In  the early morning hours he decided he'd like to roam around the house a bit, jumped off the bed and ran out the door as if there was never anything wrong with him to begin with. It is amazing how fast antibiotics work in an animal  that rarely receives them. He spent today between resting and  reclaiming all of the spots he's ignored while he was lame and lying about on my bed. Now he prefers spending the late evening hours with me. I think my room is officially the cat room.

Happy Thanksgiving

Happy Thanksgiving to my Canadian friends. I hope that this holiday finds you well. And that you will have a wonderful day filled with family and friends.

The holiday in the US is still several weeks off. This year, I am grateful for that for many reasons. I have thought in the past that the holidays feel like Happy Hallothanksmasnewyear. Once October starts the year runs non-stop, full speed through the holidays and right into the next year. Often not giving me time to reflect on or fully appreciate the day that I should be celebrating. As much as I want to make this year different, I'm not sure that can happen. I will spend this year without my children, or grandchildren. And without the friends, co-workers and church family that I spent my life around. It is an opportunity for me to make new memories and new traditions, but I miss everyone. And I'm a bit homesick. Being here is good for me. And there are many reasons that staying wouldn't have worked. But holidays are a transition, and I'm going to have to work through this one.

Part of the reason the nostalgia has hit me so hard this weekend is a bit of sleep deprivation. Our black cat, Ghost has been injured and has been hanging out in my room. I noticed him limping on Wednesday after I came home from Sit and Knit. I tried to get him to let me see the paw, but he refused. It was a really cold night and he was lying by the door in the living room. I picked him up and brought him to the chair in my room. It's one of his favorite places. Thursday morning he was favoring his paw, but still getting around. I finally got a look at it. From what I can tell it seems he's split the hind claw. I called the number for the vet, but since he isn't technically my cat, she wouldn't give me an appointment. My sister called my niece who came over and disagreed with me over the cause of his limping. She looked it up on Google and said that he most likely had a strained paw. He let us take turns holding him with a wash cloth soaked in Epson salts on it.

By Friday morning he'd quit putting weight on the paw and it is swollen, a little more than twice the size it normally is. My niece called the vet again, and was told that she was out of town, we should take him somewhere else. The only options were to take him to an emergency animal hospital or wait until Monday. We can't afford the emergency vet, so the poor kitty has had to suffer since Wednesday. In the mean time, he's gotten really attached to me and very used to my bed. I think he may have  taken it over.

The other thing that happened this weekend is that Jess got married in Georgia. As planned, Mollie was her Maid of Honor.  Mollie wanted to give the speech of her life for Jess's toast. And to do that, she instant messanged and Facetimed me all night on Friday. The toast had to be perfect for her friend. And it was. Her boyfriend, Chris filmed it for me and I saw it. She did a fabulous job.

These girls, born on the same day. Friends forever and joined at the hip even though they now live nearly a thousand miles apart. And their lives are so different.

I feel sad that we all live so far from each other. And still I'm glad for the technology that keeps us all together.

Cats and the Three Little Kittens

The weather has been getting cooler and it has turned the cats into snugglers even more than normal. The place that they love to snuggle most seems to be my bed. I have had two or three of them sleeping with me almost every night. That being said, I am really not much of a pet in the bed person. But discouraging them would take more energy than I have to give it.

yYou know, taking over my bed is one thing. But now they seem to want to take over my computer too...

The weekend is coming up. This will be the first one in three that we haven't had the three little kittens over. Last weekend a group called Flight Club had an event, mostly for children at the community center. Flight Club is a travelling aviarium. The kittens loved seeing the birds during the Main Street Festival, and more so at the community center. They were able to interact with the birds indoors in ways that wasn't possible while they were located outside.

To say the least, they had a wonderful time. They came home from the center, ate dinner and were in bed watching a movie by 8:00.  The next day we went to a pumpkin patch and corn maze. The kittens had a blast. We went on the hay ride, walked through the children's maze, played farm games, fed goats and rabbits and played in the corn and hay bins.

We had a beautiful fall day to do it. The weather was a bit nippy, and mostly sunny where we were at. But as we were out enjoying the day on the horizon we could see the snowfall that was happening not even 50 miles away in the mountains.

I have seen storms roll in over the Atlantic ocean and over the great plains, but this was a first for me. It was fascinating and beautiful.

I don't have much planned for this weekend. The Puget Sound Yarn Crawl will be happening, but I haven't signed up for any more of it other than helping out for a few hours at A Little Knitty. If the nice weather holds tomorrow, I may go out and take some photos for another post that I keep thinking about. 

Whatever your weekend holds, I hope it's something that will make great memories for you.