What the Dog Thinks...

Being hearing impaired  sometimes makes voicemail difficult so I have an app on my phone called Visual Voicemail. It can sometimes give me funny results.

On Sunday I got a voicemail from my ex. After church I checked it and was aghast at the message I recieved.

"$**t f**k Chuck f**k f**k f**k f**k f**k f**k f**k all that...We are all... yeah why do not you... all."

Like I said, I was a bit taken aback by the text. My first thought was that Ex must have been having a stroke when he made the call. I switched the message from visual voicemail to listen to the call. What I heard was a dog going crazy barking and enough of the conversation to make out that my ex was talking to a woman, but not enough to know what they were saying. 

At that point I started laughing so hard that I could barely catch my breath. Imagine accidentally leaving a message like that for your ex spouse. What a hornets nest that could stir up! The only way it could have been better is if he'd done it on April Fools day. 

Good one Ex, get the dog to curse me out for you... 😆😆😆😆😆

Opinions Please...

My question to you is regarding acceptable grammar and social media. Specifically, is posting on social media an acceptable excuse to forget all the grammar one has ever learned? I was in a Facebook group and the question above was posted. I have my questions about the advisability of laying out everything about oneself on public platforms, even though I do share a great deal of personal information. That withstanding, I could not resist a snide answer to the question. 

"I do not usually wear where I am from. In fact, I don't think I have any clothes that say Georgia on them."

I will admit to feeling a little bit like a snarky bitch about the answer I posted. But my original question remains. Has the advent of social media superseded the use of proper grammar, even basic punctuation? I can't claim to being the grammar queen. I just think that it is important to try. What do you think? 

The Sweater

Last year about this time Mollie came home because her high school mentor was retiring from teaching. We both went to the party with Mollie's friend Jess.

While we were on the way there Jess handed Mollie a gift box. Inside was an invitation for Mollie to be the Maid of Honor at Jess's wedding in October of 2019.

I thought that it was odd to wait so long between the engagement announcement and the wedding, but I have long since learned to keep such sentiments to myself. A few Months later Jess posted a picture on Facebook of her two sweet rescue dogs...

Last weekend we had a baby shower for Jess...

That is why Mollie came home for the weekend...

I gave Jess a sweater that I had made for the baby...

So, yesterday Amelia Josephine decided to come and check out all the new clothes she got at the party...

#yougoMillieJo!

BTW...Millie will be wearing a beautiful Champaign lace dress to the wedding in October...Grammie Tammie and Poppy can't wait to sit with her in the service.

Eating My Words, But I'll Be Eating Lunch Too...

I got into work this morning and had a  message from Ali. She wanted to know what restaurant I want to go to for my retirement lunch. She needed to know by the end of today. I immediately emailed back and told her that I'd like to go to Uncle Julios. I just found out that they serve Panchos at lunch time. Panchos are my all time favorite Mexican dish and Uncle Julios are really good.

I have no idea when this lunch is taking place or who all will be invited. But that's not the point. The point is that they are actually doing something. I'm a bit shocked. But I'm glad that they are doing it. It makes me feel better. And I'm getting Panchos at Uncle Julios.

Expectations

Many years ago, while I was still in my early 20's I expressed to a close friend how disappointed I was that my then husband had totally ignored our anniversary and Valentine's day and that I was sure that he'd not acknowledge Mother's day either. My friend advised me that the problem was that I had expectations. If I'd just accept the fact that he wasn't ever going to acknowledge special days, then I'd no longer be disappointed when he failed. It has a certain amount of logic to it.

The problem is that certain days have expectations built in. There is the expectation that the holidays will be spent with family and friends; that birthdays and anniversaries will be at least acknowledged. When I say this, I'm saying it with a very low bar for what acknowledgement is. A hug and a happy birthday or happy anniversary is an acknowledgement. But the truth is that my friends advice was wrong. I did get to the point where I had no expectation of acknowledgement. I knew that he wasn't going to do that. And it still stung. It hurt so much that I took to purchasing small trinkets for the children to give me on Mother's day just so when I was sitting in Church and someone admired the pretty new bracelet that I was wearing I could say "Oh, thank you. This is what my children got me for Mother's day." Please don't judge. The deception came from a place of brokenness. Sometimes  my ex would hear the exchange and then get angry at me. I think his anger was more guilt than anything else. At least I'd like it to be. The point being, I had no expectation that my ex was ever going to acknowledge me and it still hurt like hell anyway.

So all that was years ago. It shouldn't affect the way that I feel now should it? On April 3 was my anniversary with the company I work for. Our group has a monthly department newsletter that comes out. In it department birthdays and anniversaries are listed and holidays and special occasions too. They left out my anniversary. There was a cry out to congratulate a manager who is retiring on May 31, but no mention that I'd be retiring on May 15. Earth day was mentioned as being on April 22, but not Admin Appreciation day on April 24. I knew that none of this would be mentioned. I had no expectation of it. Still the omission stung.

The company provides $1000 for a retirement celebration for all admins. The management is supposed to host this party. It is a little less than 3 weeks until I retire. So far, I have heard nothing of this celebration happening. I don't expect it will.  It still stings when my friends from other departments ask when this is going to happen because they'd like to come. I have to tell them that the people that I work with are too self centered to do what is expected.

If something should come up I will have to eat these words, but believe me, I have no expectation of that.

She's Here

Mollie is here for the weekend. She has a baby shower that she is helping with and I have been invited. She snapped this picture when her dog and her boyfriend were dropping her off at the airport.

She was nervous flying. She had them drop her off at the airport 4 hours early. She didn't want anything to go wrong. We texted all day and talked tonight.

We will go to Waffle House in the morning for breakfast. Then spend the day together preparing games for the Shower that is on Saturday. Sadly she will fly out early on Sunday morning and won't be visiting with our church family, all who want to see her.

She's here! My baby is home.

Yes, her dog does always smile for pictures. He's a real ham.

Last Friday

Last Friday, April 12, marked 15 years since the day I found the lump in my left breast. So how did I celebrate? I went to my surgical oncologists office and had a mammogram and an ultrasound. Everything is fine. This was just the yearly follow up. I didn’t plan to have it on my 15th cancerversary. That was the date that was offered when I made the appointment. It did creep me out just a bit. A little too much Deja vu going on.

I told them that this would be the last visit as I am going to Washington state. They are sending my records there to me. I wish every doctor would make it so easy. Every office has their own way of dealing with records.

While I was there I noticed two sisters come in and sit down. They seemed very familiar to me. Later on I figured out that they were friends of my ex-husband and I. I lost track of them after the divorce. Turns out that they both have had breast cancer. I stayed and talked to them for a while after my appointment ended.

By the time that I got out of the office I was starving so I went to a Mexican restaurant that for some reason I had the impression wasn’t all that good. But they had my favorite dish and it was wonderful. I thought about getting a Margarita to celebrate, but the trip home was about 20 miles. I didn’t want to risk getting pulled over and have alcohol on my breath. Instead I bought a bottle of wine on the way home and shared it with Beverly and Neil.

Unfortunately I can’t claim a cure after 15 years. Breast cancer can return even decades after it goes into remission. But honestly, I didn’t expect to still be alive to claim 15 years. I will take that and be glad for it.

Not Fast Enough

This day! I am so over one particular person here at work! He's a director and an asshole. There are 16 directors in this group and he acts like he is the only one.

I came into work after a lovely weekend. I had requests for 3 cube moves. One was his. We have an outside company that carry out the moves. We have them because the company does not want to take on the liability if an employee gets injured in a move. He decided to move himself anyway.  I resisted the urge to fire back in an email "Fine, because the rules don't apply to you, right?" Instead, I answered that I'd request a phone only move. I sent the requests to the person in our group that approves cube placement. He replied back approving only the directors move. So I emailed back asking about the  other 2 moves. A few hours later he emailed back that the moves are on hold because Director Asshole wants to put people he hasn't even hired yet into those cubes.

This afternoon the VP decided that a meeting that has been booked for 3 months and will take place on Wednesday won't work for him. I was looking for a room on another day to hold the meeting. I was lucky to find one an was working on updating the agenda and meeting invite when Director Asshole decided that the meeting times need to be amended to suit him. And I need to do this  tonight. But if I don't get it done in the less than half hour that I have left in this day it will wait until tomorrow morning and I don't care how upset they are about it. They intruded on my lunch time and I am not going to stay even one minute late for them.

Don't worry about them firing me. If they do they will have to pay 6 months unemployment before they start paying my pension. I am fully vested in that.

Wild Night In The Hen House

Sorry. It's a bad picture. It was taken through a screen.

I am staying with friends in the town where I have lived for the past 30 years. It isn't out in the country as the picture would have you believe. But behind the property is a protected wetland area. And a newly built neighborhood on the other side of the wetland has forced the animals that lived on the land into it. There is evidence in the neighborhood that a bear may be living there, though I don't know of anyone who has actually seen it.  Cayotes live there too. I can hear them howling even without my hearing aids. And because it is a wetland it is home to a gadzillion frogs and crickets. Starting at sunset they can make quite a ruckus into the wee hours of the morning. Last night I heard the distant howl of one of the cayotes, then all the crickets and frogs suddenly stopped singing. Another howl and then the chickens started screeching. It sounded like a woman screaming. My friend Neil, works in retail and is at his store before the sun rises. I didn't want to call out the window and wake him up. Kind of a dumb thought as surely the commotion going on had already done the exact same thing. As I was approaching the widow I heard what I hope was a pellet gun go off and the cayotes yelping as they ran off. Then again, nothing. The crickets and frogs didn't even start back up for a good hour. This morning all three chickens could be seen scratching around in their coop. I hope this doesn't become a nightly event

Counting Down The Hours

When I was graduating from high school, I had this absurd friend who kept a count of the hours until. I kind of found it irritating. But that's what I'm doing now. I have 23 business days until I retire. That is having subtracted all weekend days and vacation days that I have left. Multiply that by 8 and it's 184. Multiply it by my salary and it's blah blah blah that I'm not sharing with anyone. Believe me it's not a great deal more money that I'm capable of earning. As ready as I am to walk out the door, I'm terrified. But I really need to walk out the door.

I've already bought a plane ticket to go see Mollie. I will stay with her for a few days to help her move, then I have another ticket to go to Seattle. I bought them because I was sent an offer for great ticket prices. I don't fly very much and only once since 9/11. Plus I have the port and the defibrillator and hearing aids to go along with a bag full of medicine. I'm not sure what to expect. It's causing more anxiety than it should. I just want to be happy and excited about this. And I am, but still the unknown makes me feel edgy and uncertain.

I have a mammogram on Friday and will see my oncologist for the last time. I will say goodbye. And I will make one more appointment with my primary care doctor mostly just to say goodbye to him. I do not have doctors lined up in Washington, but that will all come as it will. I'm not going to fret about it.

My days here are coming to a close. I'm excited, and I'm terrified.