Thursday

Yesterday was productive. I did all the laundry. I deep cleaned my living room. I went through the drawers and closets and got them organized and ready for the move. There wasn't much to get rid of. I have only been here for 10 months. It took me forever to feel at home here. This place has always felt temporary to me, like a dorm room or an extended stay AirB&B one would settle into during a long business trip. I wonder if that wasn't a sense of foreboding. I've done my best to make it comfortable. Now I wonder if that isn't going to work against me when I move. I worry that my furniture won't fit the new space, that I won't be able to organize my things to work as well as they do here. 

I get obsessive when I am in transition. I will look into hotel rooms, plane or train tickets, routes, anything and everything I can control as soon as I know that I am travelling. When I am moving, I look into apartments, neighborhoods, even down to the availability of sidewalks. As if somehow my planning will allow me to control the unknown. 

I have been cyber-stalking the apartment complex that I hope to move into, Yesterday they listed another unit up for rent. That makes three and one has been listed for over a year. Normally that would be a red flag for me, but most of the apartments in that area that are listed have been for a long time. Google and AI say that it's a low crime area. I tell myself that even if it's the hood, the hood has a library, coffee shops, antique shops, grocery stores and churches in walking distance. I can't allow myself to be afraid of people. Most people aren't out to hurt me. Besides, as far as it goes in this town, the apartments that I'm living in are the hood. It's a nice hood, but as hood as it gets here. 

My decision has been made. I will be moving as soon as I can to north Alabama. I guess it's time to start packing.